Hope In Love

fake follower

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 26, 2012

Am I fake?
Or is my doubt when I’m most real?
When I am most a follower?
Cos at the moment of doubt I truly search,
I truly desire,
I truly hunger.

And in that search, desire, hunger,
That is when I truly find…
And choose once once again to follow.

Let’s fight racism…

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 25, 2012

…by focusing on race.

I can’t speak for everyone of course, but I think that’s my issue with the DASO poster below. Ok, there’s also the fact that they are unnecessarily naked, but…yea.

There was once this TV ad for that train – think it’s called shosholoza meyl – and it had this black chick and this white guy and they met on the train and by the end of the train ride they were…uhm…a little too familiar, if you catch my drift. That ad, in my opinion, said what this poster was trying to say, without actually saying so. It sent the same message without having to say it, and without having the focus be on race. Yes, they were of different racial backgrounds, and yes I noticed the interracial-ness, but that wasn’t the focus. Of course they weren’t advertising interracial dating but a train, so it was a different situation. (wait, am i saying the DA is advertising interracial dating?)

Focusing on someone race can never stamp out racism, I think. At the end of the day, because the poster is ABOUT race, whe you look at the poster you see a BLACK girl and a WHITE guy, not just a couple.

I don’t know how they could have made it better – I’m not in advertising, I’m not a graphic designer – just sharing what I felt/saw concerning the poster.

in our future, interracial dating will be ok.

Reads of the week – 2012 – 2

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 22, 2012

Posts
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nature always speaks (to me) – Darrell Hoffland

why I love Jesus but hate religion – Don Miller

Tim Tebow: the Christian girl’s heartthrob – Jon Acuff

the white flag of whatever – Kathy Richards

be brave and stand – Carlos Whittaker

reconciliation: are you involved with that – Darrell Hoffland

the correct and proper way to feel – I wrote this for you

the boldness of youth – Billy Coffey

my lesbian daughter, the bible, and sex – Shari Johnson

Quotes
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I loved words. I love to sing them and speak them and even now, I must admit, I have fallen into the joy of writing them. – Anne Rice

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Enter 2012…

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 18, 2012

The last two years I’ve gone to AriseFest for New Year’s celebrations. And while I absolutely enjoyed it, I always have issues with the whole “let’s stop worshipping God at midnight to celebrate the need for new calendars”…so I couldn’t get into the whole new year’s vibe. And then I’d feel bad about it cos, you know, I’m being all judgemental and all.

This year AriseFest didn’t happen, which was a real bummer. I missed ringing in the new years accompanied by worshipping God with Arise Band – I really did miss it, but I think a new tradition may have been started.

2012 found me on the beach, surrounded by friends, and much love and celebration. At around 11 pm New Year’s eve, the Kenilworth Crew, the Eastern Caper, and I headed to Camps Bay Beach. We built a bon fire, then while we waited for midnight to strike, we went around the circle and said our highlights of 2011. Then we did the countdown thing, and the happy new year thing, and the hugging and yay’s thing, and then, instead of stopping worship to celebrate, we stopped the celebrations to pray for the year ahead. It was pretty awesome.

I don’t really know if it’s gonna be a new tradition, but it was quite fun and I really enjoyed it, and I wouldn’t mind if it did become an annual thing…maybe try out different beaches each year.

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This post was supposed to have gone up yesterday, but – even though it was already typed up and ready to go – I spaced and forgot to put it up…sorry…will get back into normal schedule soon.

Reads of the week – 2012 – 1

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 16, 2012

I haven’t been blogging, but I have been reading. Some of these go back to November of last year (sorry if I already posted them). Enjoy…

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Posts
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pardon me while I rant incessantly: black friday – Kathy Richards

the time served – I wrote this for you

covet 2.0 – Jon Acuff

Joseph’s Christmas – Billy Coffey

a conversation – Jake Lee

faith like a child – Jon Acuff

more than a crutch – Darrell Hofland

it’s not what you do that scares me, it’s what you hide – Don Miller

things they never talk about – Karlien Du Preez

to choose pain after pain chose you – Carlos Whittaker

on wishing wells (and the irony of pessimistic idealism) – Valerie Anderson

a world worth saving – BillyCoffey

Quotes
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reformation from within – found via the simple weigh (Brett Anderson)

it’s the end of the world (as we know it) – a bunch of C.S. Lewis quotes found via Sacred Spaces (Darrell Hofland)

Series
=======

new year’s evolutions – Brett Anderson (there’s a link to the next chapter in the series on the bottom of each post)

No tattoos or tumblrs this week…too many posts as it is…regular reads of the week on a Saturday will resume this coming Saturday…happy reading!

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Under the spotlight

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 12, 2012

as i stand there and then look out at them
they all just stare back
is that judgement?
expectation?
the dimmed lights make it too hard to see clearly

my heart is beating too loud
my hands are sweating too much
the spotlight is shining too bright
the stage has been raised too high
their quietness is too defeaning

what if i open my mouth and nothing comes out
even worse, what if i open my mouth and something horrible comes out
the former would elicit pity
but the latter would only bring shame & ridicule
what if the fear is too much

but what if they don’t hate it
what if it’s actually good
but then THEY will have been right all along
i had a gift i refused to share
i was selfish with what wasn’t mine

[we were talking about the poem "our deepest fear" by marianne williamson today in a meeting at work - which i've written about on this blog - and it just got me thinking...]

New Year’s Resolutions: 2012 Edition

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 10, 2012

Oh look, it’s that time of the year again when we make resolutions and vow to be better people than we’ve been in the past. Well, here are mine:

first a look at last year’s:

1. See more live music –> DONE!
2. Try new things –> DONE!
3. Don’t take ur friends for granted – don’t always wait for them to make plans, initiate them sometimes, call/send an sms just to say hi, visit cape town more often –> DONE! (could have done it more, but i think i did quite a bit of this – I did spend more weekends in Cape Town than in Stellies though)
4. Stop being judgemental -> still working on this one…really, i’m trying
5. Sort out ur finances –> so bad…so so bad. i upgraded a phone contract that had ended and an ipad on contract. i suck at money issues. i moved to a cheaper flat though…and cancelled another phone contract that had expired.

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this year’s resolutions:

1. No new phone/cool gadgets contract no matter how cool or tempting that new toy might be (still working on them finances)
2. Hit the gym at least 3 times a week (more fitness than weight loss, but that would be nice too, but not so much i need to buy a new wardrobe)
3. Play guitar at least 3 times a week (i’m thinking i wanna start playing in front of people…might help me improve)
4. Finish that bible reading plan I started last year (i’m a month behind…was supposed to finish on Jan 3rd, then i’ll start a new more study-oriented one)
5. Find something in CT to replace VisionK (i live in a high school…a girl’s high school…a girl’s high school hostel…maybe…)
6. Read more (not just blogs, like books). Write more (not just blogging, but other things)
7. Dream big. Plan those dreams out. Live them.

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I was gonna write about my new year’s eve celebrations in this post, but it’s already a little long so I think I’ll save it for later…

anyway, if you’re looking for ideas or prompts for your own resolutions, b-fish is writing a series over at his blog on just that…take a look!

Happy 2012

Posted by: Tsholo on: January 9, 2012

Happy new year people. I know, a whole week has gone bye. Still getting into the swing of 2012. I’m excited about this year. This will be the year of dreaming big, taking risks, and living life to the full.

I really wanna do this taking risks and dreaming thing with extra sauce this year…go big or go home vibes.

Ok, this wasn’t really a post, just a hi, how’s 2012 so far kinda thing. Regular programming will resume tomorrow. And I promise to try to stick to my posting schedule this year.

Coolness. Thanks for stopping by and hope you stick around for a while.

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Cheers to the freakin’ year!

Posted by: Tsholo on: December 16, 2011

Today will be my last post for 2011. The siblings are in town, and therefore I’m spending more time laughing my head off and less time reading and writing. Ok, that’s not the real reason, I’m just already in holiday mode…the brain is slowly shutting down…

2011 has been amazing in so many ways. Can’t say it’s been the best year yet, but it’s been great. I am thankful for all the awesome opportunities I’ve been given this year.

Highlights:

1. Bound – what an experience. That might be the only best acress award I ever get so gotta savour it.

2. Bravery…don’t think I wanna elaborate on there, but yes, worth it.

3. Musicality – including taking a pic with Deon Meiring and Bouwer Bosch. And rocking the daisies. Live Music FTW!

4. Moving back to Cape Town…although I miss Stellenbosch, I felt it was time for a change.

5. Writing – couple of short stories (which might never see the light of day), entering a music writing comp (didn’t win, but i entered…), and the new…uhm…writing exercise I mentioned last week

6. Friends – old, new, and langebaan adventures.

7. God; Love. Truth. Faithfulness.

So cheers to 2011. And here’s to 2012, and hoping the world doesn’t end, cos man, life is good! And the living is easy… :)

See you next year.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Posted by: Tsholo on: December 13, 2011

Have you ever wondered what a person who takes care of dying people may have learned through the experience? Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care and eventually wrote both a blog post and book with the intriguing title: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. Here are the top 5 reasons she encountered:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

(via Tom Anderson – the myspace guy)

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Thankfully it didn’t take my whole life to realise all this. Although I have found that realising this is only the first step. The fighting you have to do with the people closest to you who truly have your best interests at heart but have yet to realise the above and think by truly living, you’re doing it wrong…because you’re not following the plan they’ve laid out for you…because to them your life doens’t make sense. The fact that you aren’t chasing the same things society is scares society…they don’t know what to do with you…and therefore they tell you you’re doing it wrong and call you weird, and naive, and so many other labels.

I haven’t got it right, mind you. I’m still struggling to forge my own way and not just fall in line – which would be so much easier.

I just want to make sure that when my life comes to an end I won’t have any regrets…I won’t wish for a different life.

This actually reminds of this post.

My resolution for next year is to do more of this…more living, less conforming…with a special emphasis on Number 4.

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