Hope In Love

Our next stop was Serowe. Our first day in Serowe we decided to go to Khama Rhino Sanctuary – a game reserve nearby. We were given two choices – 1. Take our own car, no guide, just be back here by 5 pm; 2. A guided tour,with a guide who knows the area, and you go in a 4 x 4, but it’s only 2 hours. I picked 2 cos I figure the guide knows where all the animals are so two hours should be fine. Mom decided using our own car is so much cheaper so we should do that. Dad knows better than to argue with mom, so mom wins…anyway…the pictures below tell the rest of the story…

This Is Africa! So pretty,so lovely, so unpredictable...speaking of unpredictable...

This Is Africa! So pretty,so lovely, so unpredictable…speaking of unpredictable…

The "river" we got stuck in

What’s that? Your non-4×4 car got stuck in the “river”(aka flooding from the rain last night) and you don’t have cellphone reception… oh…

Wading the crocodile infested waters...

Wading the crocodile infested waters after failing repeatedly failing to get the car unstuck…

My brother lamenting the situation

My brother lamenting the situation

My sister lamenting the situation

My sister lamenting the situation

Me lamenting the situation

Me lamenting the situation

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 1

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 1

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 2

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 2

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 3

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 3

Me going "I told you so!"

I don’t wanna say “I told you so!” but…

"Well, since we're stuck here we might as well enjoy the wildlife..."

“Well, since we’re stuck here we might as well enjoy the wildlife…”

"Come here horsie..."

“Come here horsie…”

Although, I ain't gonna lie, the fact that the rhinos kept slowly inching closer had me rather worried... (But yay for seeing Rhinos)

Although, I ain’t gonna lie, the fact that the rhinos kept slowly inching closer had me rather worried… (But yay for seeing Rhinos)

I think we’re all guilty of it to a degree…I think. The reason we are having such a hard time believing the allegations against Bill Cosby is because we can’t reconcile what we’re hearing from these women with Dr Huxtable. He was such a great TV dad…he can’t be a molester. It doesn’t make sense.

I also think I do it more than the average person. I think. Putting people on pedestals, that is…

Thing is, if you’re someone I like – like just a platonic like – I tend to only see your good side. I concentrate so hard on people’s good sides that even their bad becomes good.

If you’re vain, I admire your ability to love yourself.
If you’re a serial dater, I admire your ability to let go and allow new love.
If you can’t be by yourself, I admire your people-person-ness…your ability to be with people.
If you’re selfish, I admire your ability to be able to say no.
If you can’t say no, I admire your selflessness.

A friend asked me to be honest with her about what I think are her flaws/weaknesses…24 hours later I still haven’t come up with anything. Ask me what I admire in her and I could write a whole essay, but the negatives… *tumbleweed rolls by*

This causes two problems:

1. I’m so busy concentrating on other’s positive traits that I forget to look for positives in myself. I am so busy looking at what I admire in them and lack in myself that I can’t possibly see what I could offer them…what value I add in their lives…and I believe it’s why I have such a difficult time trying to figure why anyone would want to be my friend (and why I feel the need to try to figure it out in the first place).

2. People are flawed. You put people on a pedestal, they are bound to let you down. People have weaknesses and there is no script, so at some point or another they will do something that you don’t like – something that goes against the perfect script you’ve written in your head…and when they do – instead of just accepting it as a mistake – it wrecks your whole view of them…because you expect only good from them, one mistake mars the perfection, and they become the mistake.

This is the Bill Cosby dilemma. He was a great actor. He was a brilliant Dr Huxtable. The Huxtables represented the black people you don’t often see on tv…the father who stays, the kids who aren’t joining gangs, the blacks who don’t speak Ebonics, the carefree black kids, the family that attained “black excellence”…the opposite of most black characters you see on TV who make it seem as if black skin is certainty of brokenness.

So we put him on a pedestal…not the character Dr Huxtable, mind you, but the person that depicted Dr Huxtable. And when his imperfection showed, it was all we could see.

Don’t get me wrong, molestation is a serious crime. It is horrible, and in cases where the victim has to live with it in silence knowing they would never be believed over the perpetrator, I would assume it feels even worse.

Having said that, as of writing this, Bill Cosby has not been found guilty. There has, as far as I am aware, been no proof of the molestation. But even so, everything I’ve ever known about him is now viewed in light of these accusations. In as much as I find it hard to reconcile Dr Huxtable with a man capable of such, I can’t ignore the 15 women who came forward with their pain…

Also, I haven’t been following all this closely at all…I’m just picking picking up stuff from tweets and headlines…so I really shouldn’t have an opinion…

And yet here I am looking at Bill Cosby like “You were supposed to be the perfect father figure, how could you let me down so badly?”

Meanwhile, Bill Cosby never owed me anything. And he never asked me to pedestalize him. He has always been human/flawed. I created perfection where there wasn’t perfection to be found. I did that.

I so badly wanna end off with some cheesy line like, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our (Hollywood) stars, but in ourselves, that we are (/perceive ourselves to be) underlings.” but that’s too cheesy, so I won’t…I’ll end with this instead:

Convictions stick on paper. Accusations stick in the mind. And nothing is ever seen the same. – Tats Nkonzo

Our first stop in Botswana was in Gaborone. We spent two nights in Gaborone at some house. Not the greatest of accommodation, but it was clean and all the amenities were available and everything worked. The gates and burglar bars on the windows had me thinking something might go down but I sat outside till quite late and it was uber quiet…only reason I went back in doors were mosquitoes (dang mosquitoes)…

Our one day in Gabs we spent a lot of time at the Main Mall, and then we went to the 3 Dikgosi Monument which was pretty awesome…then we just spent the rest of the day driving around looking at all the buildings and stuff…

We ended off the day with dinner at Mugg n Bean at Game City Mall. We left Gaborone the next morning.

The siblings at the information center

The siblings at the information center in Gaborone

This is the entrance to "Main Mall" which is more shopping complex than mall...maybe I just don't understand the word mall...

This is the entrance to “Main Mall” which is more shopping complex than mall…maybe I just don’t understand the word mall…

The 3 Dikgosi Monument

The 3 Dikgosi Monument

If you ever go to the 3 Dikgosi Monument, ask for a guide named Samuel...the amount of historical knowledge this dude has...ri-dic!

If you ever go to the 3 Dikgosi Monument, ask for a guide named Samuel…the amount of historical knowledge this dude has…ri-dic!

The Botswana Flag

The Botswana Flag

This was taken when we visited the airport...there is a Bona photoshoot set looking vibe outside...we thought this would be funny...now I'm not so sure...

This was taken when we visited the airport…there is a Bona photoshoot set looking vibe outside…we thought this would be funny…now I’m not so sure…

The justice buildings - I thought it was cool that you can see them from the 3 Dikgosi Monument

The justice buildings – I thought it was cool that you can see them from the 3 Dikgosi Monument

The house in Gaborone...not the best accommodation in the world, but clean and everything worked.

The house in Gaborone…not the best accommodation in the world, but clean and everything worked.

The inside of the house

The inside of the house

Christmas at Game City - the mall in Gaborone...went there for dinner

Christmas at Game City – the mall in Gaborone…went there for dinner

Pictures of the president, Ian Khama, are posted everywhere...EVERYWHERE...in Bots...

Pictures of the president, Ian Khama, are posted everywhere…EVERYWHERE…in Bots…

January 2014, my family and I went to Botswana. Our first stop was in Mafikeng…never been but had always wanted to being a child of Bophuthatswana. We only slept one night there but it was very cool to see all the Bop-style buildings…heartbreaking to once again be reminded of how neglected former homelands are…almost like the residents are being punished for having been forced to live in said homelands… *sigh* anyway, this post is not about that…

Below are the pictures from our one night in Mafikeng and our entrance at the border…I’m surprised they didn’t stop us from entering the country. :”D

 

Peermont Hotel, Mafikeng

Peermont Hotel, Mafikeng

Sunset in Mafikeng

Sunset in Mafikeng

The siblings - Mafikeng still

The siblings – Mafikeng still

One last pic before we leave Maftown - awesome hotel!

One last pic before we leave Maftown – awesome hotel!

The South African/Botswana border - the siblings...

The South African/Botswana border – the siblings…

The South African/Botswana Border - me and my passport

The South African/Botswana Border – me and my passport

Oh look, they have trash in Botswna...how quaint...

Oh look, they have trash in Botswna…how quaint…

I’m on a mission to visit all 9 South African provinces and also the countries surrounding/within SA.

So far I have been to 2 of the countries, and 6 of the provinces. I will be posting some pics from my travels…

First up – Namibia – June 2008, June 2009

Went to a camp – Namrock, an annual worship weekend in Namibia – in 2008 and at the end a group of us went to Keetmanshoop for a missions trip…was such a great and blessed week!

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the youth group from our host church

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The mission team…taken outside on of the school we visited

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Students from one of the schools we visited…

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This school held an assembly for us…like seriously, the choir sang and everything…it was so unreal…

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This was Namibia 2009 at Namrock…this is me getting baptized…

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Worship vibes at Namrock

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We had worship every morning on top of the nearby mountain…daily mountain hikes at 6am, then watched the sun come up… Was too awesome…

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The campsite…right next to a river on a farm…all that nature…so much of awesome!!!

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This was taken on the road trip from…maybe to…Namrock…

I take the train daily to and from work. 

The evening train gets quite full because a lot of people are going home from work. Well, the third class gets quite full…the first class stays relatively empty. I have a first class ticket, but I mostly use third class. Once in a while I get brave and use the first class, but then I sit there and worry about the fact that I’m alone and I could get attacked and would anyone hear me if I screamed and and and…

The mornings…well, that’s a different story. Neither the first nor the third class is ever full in the mornings. Each person could sit in their own carriage. But as I said, sitting alone is not the wisest choice. However, the only other choice is sitting in a carriage with one or two (or like this morning, 5)  strange men. Strangers. Men I don’t know. Men who could very well be the guys I’m running away from in the first class. This morning I was afraid the whole train ride from Cape Town to Bellville. Any one of them could have done something. If he did, would the others help me? Join him? Ignore the whole thing? Oh the scenarios that ran through my mind…

Which is the wiser choice in that case?

The other day I was sitting in the first class, and at the very last minute, a man steps into my carriage. Before he came on I was the only person in the carriage…so every other seat was empty. He chose to sit next to me. Not near me, but next to me. As in right next to me. Not even an inch of space. I was freaking out. My brain running all sorts of scenarios of what could happen. We said our good mornings and how are yous then sat in silence as I tried to look calm and collected and not scared senseless. 4 stops later he gets off, but before he does, he gives me a little lecture about how I shouldn’t be sitting by myself cos anything could happen…someone could come into that carriage and do whatever to me and there’d be no one there to help me. Turns out the reason he sat next to me was to offer protection.

Ironic. (or is it :p)

All that fear. All. That. Fear.

I was afraid of the protector. Who then told me as he got off that I need to be afraid. *sigh* It’s all very tiring.

So again I ask, which is the wiser option?

(Don’t use public transportation would probably be the wisest choice…but what if that’s not an option?)

My little two cents to add to the #YesAllWomen movement…

April 4th…Aries…

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As a kid I used to have major birthday parties…as an adult, not so much. But here I stand, 30 years in the making…

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This year I had a VERY understated celebration…simple dinner with a friend , then drinks and dancing and taste of Cape Town with another friend.

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I also had lunch with my mom in Cape Town and dinner with the siblings and my dad in PE…

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There was also more drinks and dancing with the siblings… (Can’t believe my younger siblings are old enough to go clubbing and drinking, but alas…)

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Beach visits are a must while in PE obvs…

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Summer also decided to make a comeback, which I took full advantage of…and I also played Cape Town tourist…

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So here I stand, 30 years of life…looking forward to the next 30!

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So now I bid good night to a beautiful month…

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Thank you, birthday month. You have been awesome!

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