All Around Me

Title: All Around Me
Artist: David Crowder* Band (cover – original by Flyleaf)
Album: Church Music
Year: 2009

My hands are searching for You
My arms are outstretched towards You
I feel You on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind
my lips for You

This fire rising through my being
Burning, I’m not used to seeing You

I’m alive, I’m alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing

My hands float up above me
And You whisper You love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we
are alone with You
I am alone and they are too with You

I’m alive, I’m alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see You

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing

Take my hand, I give it to you
Now you own me, all I am
You said You would never leave me
I believe You, I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing

Be still and know that I am God

i’m restless. i feel like life is just standing still…or i’m standing still, or something. either way, i need something big to happen; i want change. i wan’t a big booming voice to say “here is the plan…this is what lies in the future.”

instead i keep hearing a still, small voice saying “be still and know that I am God”.

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this past weekend i went to a vision k camp and got to know the 23 grade 10 learners we are going to be working with this year. i think this was the first time i ever felt like i really didn’t want to go to camp. i was tired and exhausted and just felt like staying home and sleeping the whole weekend. it wasn’t so much a physical tired – well, maybe a little bit – but it was mostly an emotional and spiritual tired.

lately i’ve been feeling like the current is just overtaking me. i’m trying my best to swim against the tide, to not just go with the flow, but the current is too strong, and i’m just getting pulled along. all the plans and ideas i had for my future are being altered and reshaped by circumstances i have no control over and that leaves me feeling like i’m a spectator in my own life.

i’ve been crying out to God asking him to show me where it’s all leading…what’s in store. and He just keeps telling me to trust in Him, and wait patiently, cos He knows what He’s doing. and i know He does…i really do…it’s that this waiting isn’t so easy.

anyway, on the first night of the camp we had a night hike, then we sat on an open space and looked up at a billion stars…and it was all so beautiful. so i was all “Daddy, i need to know right now that you can hear me crying out to you, that you care about the crap i’m going through…so i want to see a shooting star”…and i waited…2 whole seconds (yes, i know – i’m just patient like that). and then i was all “ok, fine, i see you’re not gonna answer me…maybe you just don’t care…maybe i’m just talking to myself…maybe…ohhh, are the stars dancing?” i don’t know if you have ever seen that, but when you look right at the start they kinda look like their moving, like their dancing to some unheard music – so cool! and as i was looking distractedly (is that a word?) at the stars, out of the corner of my eye i saw a shooting star!

what i got out of that: 1. He is there, He is listening, He cares. 2. how many of His answers did i miss because i got impatient and was distracted by dancing stars – beautiful as they were, they were not the answer

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He is there, He is listening, He cares. A lesson I keep having to learn over and over.

so for now i wait, and trust in Him. He knows what He is doing.

i will be still and know that you are God!

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This post is part of the One Word at a time blog carnival. Check out more posts on the theme of “Patience” here.

Sex, Lies and Religion by Randy Elrod – a review

I read the title “Sex, Lies and Religion” and thought I have to read that book. And I’m glad I did. A short book but packed with lots of eye-opening, thought-provoking, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes controversial statements.

Randy Elrod looks at the teachings we’ve been taught by “the church” – the “truths” that we unwaveringly cling to without questioning the origin – and how that has led to Christians throughout history looking down on sex and putting chastity on a pedastal, and how that in turn has caused a God-given gift to seem more like something that we should be ashamed about. Elrod deals with topics such as nudity before and after the fall, lust, masturbation – sometimes making me blush, and yet bring with it truth that goes beyond religion using biblical truths to back up what he says.

The thing I liked most about this book was that it talked about some of the topics I’ve had questions about but could never talk to Christians about cos – I don’t know – it’s just taboo to talk about such things in Christian circles. And I guess that was the purpose of the book, to deal with the topics the church hides from dealing with.

The book is due to be released on February 14th, 2010. You can pre-order a copy here.
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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from cre:ate 2.0 Publishing to read and post a review on my site. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Worship Setlist – February 7th, 2010

This post is part of a weekly worship blog carnival, so do stop by the worship community for more setlists and sermon recaps from around the world…

Morning
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I was away at a VisionK camp this weekend which was good in some ways, not so good in others, and exhausting in every way imaginable…but I know it’s going to be good in the long run so…Anyway, I wasn’t at the morning service today.

Evening
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Hallelujah (your love makes me sing) (Brian Doerkson/Brenton Brown)
I could sing of your love forever (Martin Smith)
You alone can rescue (Matt Redman)
You won’t relent (Misty Edwards)
Revelation Song (Kari Jobe)

Ronel was leading today, with Kevin and Abi both choosing and leading a couple of songs each. There was hectic issues with the sound and the technical equipment and people not at practice and practice actually running over time and everything just not gelling before the service, which made everyone just frustrated and I was still super tired from camp, so attitudes were also not good…and we were all just wrecked. I don’t think we’ve ever prayed that much as the worship team before a service. And God showed up, and things just clicked…and mostly importantly worship happened…after the service we had another prayer session as the worship team just to say thanks cos really it was all Him! Wow, He’s AWESOME!

For the next six weeks we will be going through the six pillars – or main values – enGAGE stands on. Today was the first one – “Faithful followers of Jesus”.

The preach was Matthew 7: 13 – 29 and we looked at the question “What does it really mean to be a follower of Christ?”

from vs. 13 – 15 -> the gate is small (Jesus is the gate, and sometimes he’s not easily findable, you have to actively seek him) and the way narrow (following is a lifestyle choice, it’s not just about praying the sinners prayer…you have to live out your life on the narrow road, keeping guard of your path). If you are not actively swimming upstream, you are going with the flow – downstream.

from vs. 16 – 20 -> you shouldn’t always have to tell people you are Christian. they should see it in the way you live (always preach the gospel, when necessary use words – st Francis of Assisi). The consequence of being a bad tree is getting chopped down and burnt!

from vs. 21 – 23 -> You can’t fool God cos He knows your heart (motives). Yes, you are doing “good” things, but are you doing His will? (Obedience). “You are doing stuff in my name, but you don’t know me…in fact, I don’t know you…you are not one of mine.”

from vs. 24 – 27 -> foundation is created by hearing AND doing. Faith AND Deeds. Works alone can’t save you, but in faith, your works display His work in you. Storms will come, where you stand – where you hope and faith lies – will determine the outcome on the other side.

Matthew 23: 1 – 32 -> a follower should be:

Authentic: do as you say, don’t be a hypocrite
Consistent: Jesus was Jesus no matter where he was or who he was around
Humility: living for an audience of one, don’t do good works to look good before others
Intentionality: people can spot falsenes

Lastly, He wants it all or nothing at all. “following Jesus doesn’t cost much, just everything.” – Keith Green

Reads of the week – 2010 – 4

blogs of the week:
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Jesus’ interaction with people (Serve the City – ScottL – ?)

What if you weren’t welcome in church (The Church of No People – Matt Appling – @MattTCoNP)

You wish you never sinned (On things above Weekly Devotions – ? – @onthingsabove )

http://blog.hafchurch.org/peter/index.php/2010/02/i-believe-a-lie/ (Rediscovering the church – Peter Pollock – @peterpollock)

Show love: The pre-rehearsal pizza (Ron and Kev, this one’s for you) (RussHutto.com – Russ Hutto – @russhutto)

political blog of the week:
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The president is public property (Thought Leader – Khaya Dlanga – @khayadlanga)

site of the week:
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http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=200 (via @pleasefindthis)

quote of the week:
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There will be plenty of cigarette smokers in heaven, and Jesus will probably smack them in the head and say, “gross, dude.” – @BrianAllain (on wether Christians should smoke…check out the whole comment here )

Everyone my age keeps getting married! I know you’re desperate for sex, Christian kids. That is not a good enough reason to marry. Relax! – @Lizetheunicorn

When I say that ‘I am a Christian’…

Got this as an email…loved it so I thought I should share it with y’all…

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‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’

When I say that ‘I am a Christian’, I am not shouting that ‘I am clean living.
I’m whispering ‘I was lost, but now I’m found and forgiven.’

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow!

it’s yours…take it!

i give in
i admit defeat
you win
you’ve stolen my heart

i’m done fighting
i’m through denying
you win
you’ve stolen my heart

i’m over it
i’m throwing in the towel
you win
you’ve stolen my heart

i give up
i give in
i won’t fight it
i won’t hide
i give it
so willingly
i want you to have it
here’s my heart

Hear No Evil

Excerpts from Matthew Paul Turner’s Hear No Evil…which is available for pre-order here.

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Music has always been present in my life, like God, fear, and McDonald’s. I can’t remember a day when music wan’t somehow involved. Music is like God in a lot of ways: Moving. Omnipresent. Unpredictable. And sometimes hard to get out of your head – even when you really want to.

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I was raised in an unltraconservatice Baptist church where emotion and honesty were even less compatible than Christian fundamentalism and self-worth. At my church whenever somebody capable of emotional honesty became a member, it created a situation similar to my father’s lectures about a new puppy: “As long as it never poops on the carpet, I’ll let it be an ‘inside dog.’” Anyone was welcome to join us for worship on Sundays, as long as they never emotionally pooped on the carpet. Most of us kids were “house-trained” before we’d memorized our multiplication tables.

Until I left for college at nineteen, I held most of my feelings in. Consequently, my early twenties weren’t pretty. But they felt good.

That was when music became a companion.

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Some CDs I bought because of one popular song or for the band itself. When I purchased Garbage’s first CD, Garbage, it wasn’t because I thought Shirley Manson and crew rocked, necessarily, though on occasion “Only Happy When It Rains” made me feel good. The real reason was so I could tell my friedns I owned Garbage’s album.

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Good music changes me, shocks me, makes me feel uncomfortable, and drives me to think and hope and believe differently. And once in a while, it makes me cynical and sarcastic.

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Adam loses his thought and David nods. “You’re making complete sense. That’s exactly the kind of artist or band that we want on our roster: vulnerable. Vulnerable is good.”

I think about how many times I’ve heard this type of conversation. Hundreds, perhaps. The context is sometimes different, but much of the dialogue is the same – people talking about how to create something “real” and “authentic” rather than just being real and authentic. So many of us Christians are all about being vulnerable, especially when we’re on stage, dressed up in a costume and wearing makeup, putting on a performance we consider “a means to an end.”

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and that’s just from the first chapter. you can download a free copy of the first chapter here. I’m definitely getting this book…it’s sounding awesome already.

For more of Matthew’s writing, visit his blog and follow him on twitter: @jesusneedsnewpr.

Vision k/v training weekend

When i started with visionk i was pretty much thrown into the deep end. i didn’t really know what to do or what it was about…just rocked up for the first session and went with it. I knew we would be working with youth from Kayamandi and teaching them life skills, but that doesn’t really say much. Over the last couple of years I got to see first hand what the programme was about and i got to see the heart behind it…and during that time i also heard about how it started and why it started.

starting this year there will also be vision v, which will happen in Vlottenburg – a farming community just outside stellenbosch. so the head-people of visionk thought it would be a good idea to have a training weekend to prepare new (and old) leaders for the year to come.

Ah…Pringle Bay. Beach-house. Ocean. Fresh Air. Sitting indoors learning about how VisionK started, what it’s about, how we are going to be running things this year, etc while listening to people enjoying the beach…(well, that just got a little sarcastic). Ok, on a more serious note, we stayed at a beach-house in Pringle Bay one sand dune away from a private beach with water so clear, blue and so beautifully inviting yet so cold you prefered to watch the waves rather than go in. We did get some time to swim, and play games like 30 seconds and balderdash and tell ghost stories and past mischief-making, and watch sunsets…but we were there for vision k/v training and there was a lot of that in there.

When we talked about the values of Vision K/V, we each decided that the best way to remember these values and grow into them was for each leader to pick a value they felt they needed to work on and make that their life-value for the year, then at each meeting on Tuesdays we will have a “report-back” type thing were we will discuss how we’ve seen said value displayed or not displayed in ourselves and each other that night or whatever. That way we are all keeping each other accountable of those values we say we want to uphold in Vision K/V.

I chose the value “stewardship”. My definition of it is “realizing that all that I have (money, skills, passions, etc) are gifts from God and asking Him what I should be doing with them and then actually doing it”. So for this year I will be looking at what stewardship is, what it looks like, how i’m living it out in my life, how i’m failing to live it out in my life, and how i can live it out (better).

And with that in mind…with a mission/vission for the year, I’m even more amped for the 2010.

It is you

Title: It is You
Artist: ::harbourlight::
Album: Come Home
Year: 2008

He speaks the word and the storm kneels down before him
He said let it be and there was water, land and sky
Who is so mighty that the universe exhaults him?
He is so mighty and yet looks down and says i love you

It is your hand that’s moving
It is your fire consuming
It is you Lord
It is your name forever
It is your fame forever
It is you Lord

In his eyes a flaming fire says he’s holy
Yet in his hands the nail scars say he’s mercy
Alpha omega he’s the lord of all ages
Jehovah Jirah, he looks down and says i love you

It is your hand that’s moving
It is your fire consuming
It is you Lord
It is your name forever
It is your fame forever
It is you Lord

There’s nothing like our God, He’s AWESOME (2x)
You’re AWESOME God, what an AWESOME God
There’s nothing else,not another like him (2x)
You’re AWESOME God, what an AWESOME God