Archive for the ‘my life’ Category
A couple of days ago, a friend – at her farewell nogals – was retelling how she met each person in the room. When she got to me she said something funny: “I think I forced this friendship.”
This of course was not true…or maybe it was…ok, here’s the deal: I’m an introvert.
Basically what that means is, I love my alone-time more than you do…I assume. I assume this because non-extroverts love hanging out with people, they love having parties, going out, etc…and when you decline their invitation they say things like “why are you being so anti-social?”
It’s difficult being an introvert. 90% of the time, I prefer being alone. The problem is that 10%. There ARE times when I get lonely, when I actually feel like being around other people. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I spent a lot of my time as a kid trying to be alone, I never worked on my social skills…which is really weird considering I have had quite a few friends in my life…including being in the “popular group” in middle school.
So, as with this friend, I’ve had people who have come into my life, and stayed, despite the fact that I seem to be pushing them away. I’m not infant trying to push them away, I just don’t know how to be around people for too long. It drains me. It’s tiresome to my core…to the point where, no matter how much I want to hang out with you, I can’t get myself to leave my room.
And then there are those weird moments when I hype myself so much about an event that, by the time it actually rolls around, I’m so over it…I’ve thought and rethought all the possible awkward conversations, all the awkward silences, all the mundane socially-acceptable responses…”balsamic vinegar…hahaha” (watch the dinner party episode of the IT Crowd to get that reference) that by the time it actually rolls around, I’ve pretty much tired of it…so I don’t go.
The original heading of this post was “I’m an introvert, deal with it,” but I realized that, more than I need you to deal with it, I need you to understand it – to accept me as I am, and try to work around it somehow…understand that, if you are my friend, i do want you around…I just don’t always know how to show it…and as an introvert, I really do NEED my alone time…if I don’t, I might be there physically, but…
Anyway, this is all to say to those who “forced the relationships”, thank you for sticking around.
I know this post was supposed to go out last week, I apologize – things were happening and before I knew it time had passed and I had missed the chance to sit and write. It is actually Saturday right now, I meant to go the soup kitchen again, but I’m currently lying at home, sick as a dog.
Anyway, when I went to Langa, there were about 10 of us volunteers. We set up two stations – one near the taxi rank, and another in a park somewhere. The soup at the taxi rank went by rather quickly, as did the sandwiches. Ended up giving out plain bread, for which people were still grateful. The kids also got chips and sweets. And obviously were very keen on having their pics taken.
I found the whole experience very fulfilling. I am a big fan of bringing smiles to other people. And maybe once a week doesn’t seem like much to you and me, but it seemed like it meant a lot to the people on the receiving end.
I would highly recommend, if you’re in Cape Town, to volunteer one Saturday to help those less fortunate than yourself.
I plan to do a post in the future – hopefully next week – about my experiences with the Soup Kitchen, but for now I just wanted to give out some information in case you guys want to get involved…and please do get involved – volunteer, donate money/foods, spread the word, etc. Help out in whatever way you can. And don’t hesitate to contact me if you need more info.
Some info from the organisers:
“The soup kitchen will run every Saturday from 12am – 2pm until the 1 Sep 2012 in Langa.
The purpose of the soup kitchen is to aid the less-fortunate during the winter season. The aid provided will be soup, bread, sandwiches, and from time to time clothing and blankets.
We have put together our own money and resources to start the project, however we would like to expand and make it bigger and more successful. Thus welcome any contributions in any manner possible.
You can participate by volunteering and /or by donating. If you like to volunteer please confirm by Wednesday of each week as we have a limit. Please note that donations are not compulsory but it would make a huge difference in running the soup kitchen. Please indicate which area(s) you will be donating in.
See below for duties and donation details and help spread the word to your friends
The Duties for each Station would be the following:
1. Pouring soup
2. Handing out bread
3. Handing out cups of soup
4. Walking and drawing people closer to ‘soup stations’
5. Handing out sandwiches
6. Collecting cups
Please note: it is advisable to choose from the non perishable list
Black plastic bags
Canned tomatoes & onions
Soup – brown onion, beef and veggie
Stock cubes – chicken
Green, red, yellow pepper
Donation: Clothes and blankets
As an additional component, the Langa Soup Kitchen will also collect and donate clothes and blankets to charity organizations etc.”
To make monetary contributions, please contact me for banking details.
June 17 was my friend Nono’s birthday. For the celebration, she decided to go to 5 Rooms Restaurant at Aleph Hotel in Constantia…so much wow. The place was beautiful. The food…amazing! The service, impeccable. Our waiter’s name was Bradley – he was incredible.
Some of the funny parts included asking Bradley for All Gold tomato sauce and Freshpak Rooibos, and him telling us that, while they stock it, they were currently out…yea right Bradley. [on a bit of a side note, I've never met a Bradley I didn't like. ]
In one of the few serious moments of the day, the guys were talking about Youth Day – the public holiday the day before – and how just a few years ago we wouldn’t be able to sit where we were sitting then, eating the food we were eating. We wouldn’t be called sirs and madams, we would be doing the serving and groveling. It was a somber moment, in the midsts of celebration, and it just made that moment just that much more special.
Anyway, all in all, it was a great day of laughter, love, celebrating freedom, and celebrating having Noza in my life. Happiness is made of moments like these.
Also, thank you to Aliva, Thuso, Oabile, Thantaswa, Neli, Noluthando, and Sinazo for a great day.
This past weekend I went to Milk and Honey Showcase. This was the second year they were running it. I really wanted to go last year, but it was all the way in TableView (I’m such a Cape Tonian…) and this was pre-myciti bus days. Anyway, this year it was held at the Bree Street Studios in town. Awesome venue. The view of table mountain and Cape Town…amaze! And people actually work there…like that’s their daily view…wow!
Anyway, the showcase was super awesome. There was artwork being sold, there was a clothing label re-launch (remember hope is my hero, I wrote about them sometime ago…yes), there was live music, and there was even a live theatre production. Yes, it was awesome!
The best part is, entrance fee was only R30…and as Milk and Honey is a non-profit initiative, all the proceeds from the evening went to AlephSurf, an organisation that aims to “restore through recreation”. Basically they use art and surfing as a means to restore hope for disadvantaged youth. I think they’re based in Jeffrey’s Bay, hence the surfing… Anyway, do check them out.
So, a total of R9,300 was raised on the evening for AlephSurf. AMAZE! Yay for people doing stuff, hey!
I’m inspired. I’m filled with all kinds of awe and love.
(I seem to be having problems uploading pics. Here are some from their Facebook page)
“You act as if there’s some virtue in living a long, flavourless life. My excesses will kill me, but they have made my life worth living.”
- Kitchen Confidential, S01E03
So, Kitchen Confidential is a TV series starring Bradley Cooper as a chef. In this specific episode, his old chef-teacher visits his restaurant and tells BC that he is dying, and he wants BC to cook him the most richest of foods so he will die happy. BC agrees at first, but then his conscience gets the better of him and he decides he’s going to tell his chef-teacher to start eating healthier etc etc. Oh, also BC used to be an alcoholic and druggie and a bunch of stuff and he recently went clean and yea…
Anyway, so when he confronts his chef-teacher about “going clean” and taking better care of himself, the chef-teacher responds with the quote above.
Which got me thinking:
I am a full believer in living life to the full. You only get one life, one lifetime of experiences…and you really never know when your time will be up. So do you go all out, experience it all? Do you stuff your face with all your favorite, maybe-not-so-healthy food, or eat salads everyday? Buy all the gadgets and trinkets your heart desires or save up for a rainy day? Work hard now and save up all your adventures for retirement, or live the adventure now and hope you won’t live too long being a burden on your grown children? Give some extra money to charity, or spend it on life-insurance/medical-aid/etc in case you need it someday?
There’s gotta be a balance somewhere, right? Obviously you can over-do it on both ends. But where exactly is the balance?
For instance, money: I’m really bad at saving up and really good at spending. When i got my first job in high school my parents forced me to save up. Now that I don’t live with my parents anymore, they don’t have any say in my money anymore, so guess who’s in debt. I know that I need to save up for that rainy day and all, but then again, what if the rainy day never comes? What if I walk outside right now, get run over by a car, die…and never get to buy that beautiful pair of boots I saw that I felt I couldn’t afford right now? What if I never get to live in my dream flat because I would rather live in squalor so i can save up for that reasonably priced house I’ll live in someday? What if I never live because…I’ll do it someday…
There’s a saying, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. Many people may live that way, but I’ve always said about food, “I’d rather live 50 years and enjoy cheesecake, and chocolate brownies, and wine, than live on celery sticks so I can spend an extra 50 years eating celery sticks.”
“I’m here for a good, not a long, time” – Childish Gambino.
Thoughts? [i feel like I have written a few many times about this very subject this year...maybe God's telling me this message and, instead of taking it in, I just keep passing it on to others...scary!]
Halfway through grade 11 I moved and started a new school. Because I had never done Afrikaans in my life, and my new school didn’t offer French, I started taking Sesotho as my second language (English being first). I figured I would do better at that since I am a Motswana and Sesotho is similar to Setswana. My Sotho teacher was named Mme MaPule. Some of the other students called her Mme MaRanthako though. I later found out that this was because she had recently got married, and Pule was her husbands surname.
I found myself thinking about her today, after not even seing her in 10 years. She actually passed away – last year, I think – in a car accident. Anyway, some Mme MaPule memories:
i) One day I was walking with my friends Nthabi and Pascalina and a girl comes running up to us and tells us that Mme MaPule (who shall hence forth be referred to as Mme) wanted to see Nthabi and Pascalina, and that there was a third girl but she didn’t know who that other girl was. I sighed in relief when they asked her if the third name was Tsholofelo and she said no. Then she said the name was Mpuru (my surname), and I groaned. We were complaining the whole way to her class, assuming we knew why it is she had called us…and it turned out we were right – she wanted us to mark her 3 Business Economics class test papers. Bear in mind, Nthabi and I had never done BE as a subject and we knew absolutely nothing.
ii) One day we walk into class and, after a week of absence, Mme was back at school. Throughout the class she kept doing this shivering thing and making loud noises…like “BRRRR”…like she was cold or something. And everytime she did the whole class would laugh. Eventually she says to us, “bana ba ka, ska tshehang. Ha ke iketse, ke ronngwe” (My children, don’t laugh. I’m not doing it on purpose, I’ve been sent.) and we all kinda looked at each other like, “wait, you are a priest in a born-again Christian church…how does that even happen?”
Point of clarification: when I say sent, I mean like sent on an errand by the ancestors. Like, her body was going to keep doing that until she had done whatever errand the ancestors sent her on.
iii) My very first day in Sotho class, Mme asked me something and I responded with “Eya” (yes). And she said “Eya eng?” (yes what?). I just looked at her in confusion. Her: “Eya ntja?” (yes dog?) Me: still confused. One of my classmates whispers: “Eya Mme” (Yes m’am), and I repeated it. She looks at me and shakes her head like I’m some kind of a lost cause. I relearned that day that in Sotho cultures (and most other black South African cultures) you can’t just say “yes” or “no” to an adult, you have to add “Mme” (M’am/Mother) or Ntate (Sir/Father) to it.
iv) While handing back graded test papers after my very first Sotho test ever, Mme calls me out and says “Tsholofelo, hobaneng o thetsa batho ba baholo?” (T, why are you lying to your elders). Me: *shocked* “Nna Mme?” (Me, M’am) [yoh, but this translation thing though...] Her: “Eya, wena. Hobaneng one o nthetsa ore ha o soka o etsa sesotho” (yes you. why did you lie to me and tell me you’ve never done sotho?) Me: “Ha ke soka ke se etsa, Mme” (I’ve never done it m’am) Her: “Hobaneng, heh, e le wena fela a pasitseng test ye bana babang ba feitse?” (why, then, are you the only one who passed this test and everyone else failed?) Me: “Mme ha ka o thetsa…ke stadiyile.” (M’am I’m not lying…I studied) . Her: “stadiyile keng ka sesotho?” (what is studied in sesotho?) Me: “Eh…”
Point of clarification: stadiyile is the sothofication of the word studied, it’s not an actual sotho word.
v) When I was in matric I wore a ring on my left ring finger, and without fail, every single time I went to her class she’d make me take it off. She said that if I wear a ring on that finger before I get engaged then I would never get married…looks like she may have been right. Oh, and one time she asked me who my boyfriend was and because I didn’t want to talk about such with her, I told her I don’t date cos my parents say I’m too young to date, and she says “if they won’t let you date, how are you ever going to find a husband? are they gonna marry you?”
I just realised how much I really miss Mme MaPule. She was one of my fave teachers while I was at Brebner. I didn’t always like the fact that she used up my afternoons with grading papers and such, but she cared, and she was like a mother to us – when you live at hostel, you need such – and we could always talk to her about stuff and ask her for advise, and she was oh so funny!
It’s been a while.
I went on holiday for a week and a half and it threw my schedule for a loop.
I have an RSS Feed overflowing with as yet unread posts, hence no reads of the week.
I’ll be back shortly, I promise.
For now though, one more time before I get off this bad blacks thing, here’s a link:
And I really liked this post:
both by Zama Ndlovu (@JoziGodess)
The last two years I’ve gone to AriseFest for New Year’s celebrations. And while I absolutely enjoyed it, I always have issues with the whole “let’s stop worshipping God at midnight to celebrate the need for new calendars”…so I couldn’t get into the whole new year’s vibe. And then I’d feel bad about it cos, you know, I’m being all judgemental and all.
This year AriseFest didn’t happen, which was a real bummer. I missed ringing in the new years accompanied by worshipping God with Arise Band – I really did miss it, but I think a new tradition may have been started.
2012 found me on the beach, surrounded by friends, and much love and celebration. At around 11 pm New Year’s eve, the Kenilworth Crew, the Eastern Caper, and I headed to Camps Bay Beach. We built a bon fire, then while we waited for midnight to strike, we went around the circle and said our highlights of 2011. Then we did the countdown thing, and the happy new year thing, and the hugging and yay’s thing, and then, instead of stopping worship to celebrate, we stopped the celebrations to pray for the year ahead. It was pretty awesome.
I don’t really know if it’s gonna be a new tradition, but it was quite fun and I really enjoyed it, and I wouldn’t mind if it did become an annual thing…maybe try out different beaches each year.
This post was supposed to have gone up yesterday, but – even though it was already typed up and ready to go – I spaced and forgot to put it up…sorry…will get back into normal schedule soon.
Oh look, it’s that time of the year again when we make resolutions and vow to be better people than we’ve been in the past. Well, here are mine:
first a look at last year’s:
1. See more live music –> DONE!
2. Try new things –> DONE!
3. Don’t take ur friends for granted – don’t always wait for them to make plans, initiate them sometimes, call/send an sms just to say hi, visit cape town more often –> DONE! (could have done it more, but i think i did quite a bit of this – I did spend more weekends in Cape Town than in Stellies though)
4. Stop being judgemental -> still working on this one…really, i’m trying
5. Sort out ur finances –> so bad…so so bad. i upgraded a phone contract that had ended and an ipad on contract. i suck at money issues. i moved to a cheaper flat though…and cancelled another phone contract that had expired.
this year’s resolutions:
1. No new phone/cool gadgets contract no matter how cool or tempting that new toy might be (still working on them finances)
2. Hit the gym at least 3 times a week (more fitness than weight loss, but that would be nice too, but not so much i need to buy a new wardrobe)
3. Play guitar at least 3 times a week (i’m thinking i wanna start playing in front of people…might help me improve)
4. Finish that bible reading plan I started last year (i’m a month behind…was supposed to finish on Jan 3rd, then i’ll start a new more study-oriented one)
5. Find something in CT to replace VisionK (i live in a high school…a girl’s high school…a girl’s high school hostel…maybe…)
6. Read more (not just blogs, like books). Write more (not just blogging, but other things)
7. Dream big. Plan those dreams out. Live them.
I was gonna write about my new year’s eve celebrations in this post, but it’s already a little long so I think I’ll save it for later…
anyway, if you’re looking for ideas or prompts for your own resolutions, b-fish is writing a series over at his blog on just that…take a look!