Hope In Love

first off let me say that i don’t think drinking alcohol is a sin, nor do i think alcohol in itself is inheretly bad…but like anything else, if abused it can be bad.

secondly, i am not an alcoholic…although it might have sounded like that from my previous post. i have however been known to drink too much on a couple of occasions, hence the “spiral” in yesterday’s post.

thirdly, as i said, i’ve been re-evaluating my life and have come to the conclusion that i have a somewhat addictive-personality…not that my personality is addictive, but rather i tend to get addicted to things easily…so for someone like me I think it would be wise to either not drink at all, or at least put some boundaries/principles in place that are going to keep you from destructive behaviors.

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defining the spiral…

i love dancing…i love live music…i love music festivals…unfortunately festivals (especially those not specifically for Christians) and clubs/bars tend to have lots of alcohol and not much else in the fluidity department…so i go to these festivals/clubs/bars/whatever and as i dance/listen to the band i get thirsty, and the more thirsty i get the more i drink…this was not an everyday occurance or whatever but it has happened more often that it should have. and it seemed to happen in the same places/same people type of thing. and as i said for a while i bought the lie that it was not a problem. i was enjoying myself and having fun…but then the next day the regrets would creep in, and i wouldn’t be able to believe the lie…because in the moment of clarity, i knew the Truth and the i knew the lie…

i also happen to love wine…really love wine…so i started buying a bottle at home…just one glass after work to destress and unwind – which again, in itself is not an issue – and also it helped me sleep when insomnia was rearing it’s ugly head, but when you start drinking on a nightly basis, and it becomes something you look forward to at the end of the day and something you need in order to fall asleep…i would start questioning if maybe you might be getting addicted.

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defining the boundaries

make the decision
know your limit…know that if you are in this place, with these people, in this environment you tend to drink or whatever you need to be vigilant that you don’t fall into the same traps you usually do. and if you know that you can’t control yourself in that environment, don’t be in that environment.

going out with other Christians
i find that going out with Christians, or at least people who have the same mentality as me regarding alcohol, is so much more benecial for me. it’s hard to go out with people who have the intention of getting wasted and not fall into that same space of mind yourself. it’s so much better when you go out with the intention of just having fun soberly and you have each other and can support other on that decision. i have friends who are Christian and don’t see anything wrong with drinking…they won’t force me to drink or whatever, but because they are all getting drunk i just end up going with the flow…so it’s much easier to not go there if you’ve got someone else standing with you.

accountability partners
i’m not a fan of accountaliby partners, i don’t like people poking their noses into my business…i am however a big fan of friends so i’ve decided to give my friends the permission to ask me the tough questions…to ask me about my walk, to ask me about the past weekend, to ask me about my struggles…and in so doing keeping me accountable without it being a formal report-back type of deal where it feels all forced…with friends at least i can be sure that there is love behind it, it’s not a you’re not good enough thing, but more of a you are good enough to beat this, and i wanna walk with you to get there.

pride goes before the fall
secret sin’s the worst to fight. all you’ve got is yourself…and if it keeps beating you obviously aren’t strong enough on your own…however a cord of three strings is harder to break…let someone in on the secret…shed light on it…and it suddenly looks a lot less scary. and when you’ve got two people fighting it becomes a much easier fight.

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small steps
i’ve stopped keeping wine in my room. i’ve stopped going out with enough cash to buy me enough drinks to get drunk on. i’ve started going out with people who are like-minded on the alcohol issue…all small steps, but steps none-the-less.