Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Turning 27
Posted on: April 12, 2011
my dad: “so after 27 years of life what advice would you give to…for instance…your younger siblings?”
me: “life’s short, enjoy it”
my day: “hmmm…i don’t know about that…54 years…i wouldn’t say it’s short”
me: “yea, but have you enjoyed those 54 years?”
my day: “no. i wouldn’t say i’ve enjoyed them, but i don’t regret anything. do you have any regrets?”
me: “nope…but then it’s only been 27 years”
it’s weird how people want different things out of life. my dad and i don’t have the best of relationships. in fact, the conversation above took place when he took me to dinner on my 27th birthday. i spent the day hoping that something would come up – like work he totally needed to finish that night – and he would cancel and we wouldn’t have to go to dinner. i’ve never really spent that much one-on-one time with my dad, and the few real conversations we’ve had ended really badly – with me in tears pretty much hating him, so the prospect of a whole evening with him was not a happy thought. and i think the reason we haven’t gotten along and we fight so much is because we are very different people with very different goals in life.
my dad is the ultimate academic. he’s pretty much had his head in his books his whole life. he started working as a teacher when he was still in high school. i don’t know how that happened but it did. after high school he would work one year and then go to college for a year then work one year etc until he got his masters, then he got a scholarship to go to the US and do his doctrate. after getting his phd at age 42 (yep it took him that long, but he was determined), he went back to university as a lecturer, he still works for a university today.
i, on the other hand, got my 3 year degree and decided that was enough schooling for me. i find i learn better when i’m actually doing something rather than when i’m told about it. i find research boring…i’d rather work on a problem myself until i get it right than read up on it – not always the fastest method of getting things done.
my dad’s goal in life is to succeed. he sets himself little goals and works at them with drive and determination until he’s conquered them. he’s also a bit of a perfectionist. i think growing up in poverty also had a major contribution to his definition of success. he grew up with nothing, so he wanted to provide for his family so they don’t go without. don’t get me wrong, he didn’t spoil us, he expects us to work hard as well to get what we want out of life – nothing on a silver platter mentality – but he’s worked hard his whole life just so that he would be able to support us financially if he needed to.
my goal in life is to enjoy it. i personally think the best way to show God that i’m thankful for the life he’s given me is to live that life and enjoy it. don’t get me wrong, i’m not talking about partying every night and being selfish and not caring about others and such, i’m talking about being happy…i’m talking about making sure that when i’m on my death bed i don’t look back and think “i should have”. i mean live life to the full. and for me that’s not found in books or material wealth. it’s found in music, and friends, and laughter. and so that’s my goal – love my friends, laugh a lot, make/enjoy music.
i admire my dad. i admire his determination and how he worked hard to get to where he is. i love that he doesn’t have any regrets. but, quite obviously, i am not my dad.
and to end this on a happier note, the dinner went so very well. it was actually a very good evening. i immediately went home and called my sister to tell her how much i enjoyed it and she breathed a sigh of relief cos she also thought it would be a disaster…sheesh…
Reads of the week – 2011 – 11
Posted on: March 19, 2011
(the relationship edition?)
posts of the week:
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How to find a wife – Khaya Dlanga
The Whittaker Guide To Staying Married – Carlos Whittaker
How to love your man better – “Be Nice” – Valerie Anderson
i kissed dating, part get to know the person first – Brett Anderson
i kissed dating, part one thing – Brett Anderson
i kissed dating, part Vision/Values essential, passion helpful – Brett Anderson
i kissed dating, part marriagewards – Brett Anderson
i kissed dating, part good, positive, successful break-ups [WHAT?] – Brett Anderson
dating Q & A: where have all the good (christian) men gone? [the email] , [the reply] and [more reply] – Brett Anderson
lyrics of the week:
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Kishi Kaisei – Katdish
quotes of the week:
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Yes, that’s just ONE of the many difficulties of MC-ing. Absolutely NO ONE who’s there cares who you are. They might not mind having you on stage…well a few of them anyway. They might even watch your show (JIP, MK, DSTV 324, Wednesday nights, 19:30) But they are most certainly not discussing the line up for the weekend, saying “Ok, so Friday night we have to see Taxi Violence on the main stage at 10, oh and we absolutely cannot be late for the MC. You know, Natalie Roos? WHAT?! You haven’t seen her MC?! Dude, prepare to have your mind blown! She MC’s the heck out of a festival! Man, I love that chick! I have all her MC-gigs on DVD at home. You have to see this girl!” – Natalie Roos
tattoo of the week:
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tumblr of the week:
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falling in love
Posted on: March 8, 2011
i was watching Dr House MD the other day – i love me some Gregory House -> season 4 episode 12. in the show there is a Hasidic Jewish couple who just got married…like the chick fell over at her wedding and ends up at the hospital and yada yada and a lot happens and she gets healed in the end and that’s not what this post is about. one of the doctors questioned the marriage of the couple cos they’d only met like 3 times or something before they got married – it was sort of an arranged marriage thing – and the husband asked the doctor if he was still in love with his wife whom he’d been married to for years and the doctor said he loved her today just as much as on the day they got married and the husband said something like “shouldn’t your love grow the more you know her?”…i liked that. anyway…
earlier on that day i walked past a synagogue and i stood there for a while just admiring it’s beauty. it stands out. even though stellenbosch has soooo many beautiful buildings, the synagogue still stood out…and i know that God is everywhere and doesn’t live “in temples build by human hands” (acts) but it did make me think of the book of exodus- i just recently read about the construction of the temple and it is so detailed and so very…i don’t know what the word i’m looking for is…but the whole time i kept thinking, i’m sure this would be amazing for an architect or interior designer or whatever, but i’m just not getting anything out of it. but looking at that synagogue it suddenly hit me that God is a God of beauty and awe-ness-ness. like, he created the mountains and the oceans and flowers and sunsets…he digs beauty…he digs us sitting in awe…i think if he did live in a building he’d live in one that would cause us to stop and look at it like wow! – like the one that was being constructed in exodus.
ok, then later i went and watched that episode of house and thought “i dig Jews…and i dig Muslims”. and i’m not sure how accurate the portrayal of the Hasidic Jews was on the show, but it just hit me that – although i’m sure that there are Jews and Muslims who just go through the motions of religion as well – a lot of Jews and Muslims follow a lot of rules and regulations because of their love for God…their need to just know him more and understand him more and revel in him more and be in communication with him more…and then we Christians sneer at it and call it “religion” (cos we have relationship, not religion). but you look at a Jew or Muslim studying the Torah or the Qu’ran and they do it with reverence and they really study it…they don’t do it just so that they can check the “quiet time” item off their to do list…they honestly want to know what God/Allah wants to say to them. i think we tend to use relationship as an excuse, we are lazy to put in all the work that goes into a maintaining the relationship (and yes, relationships need to be maintained and require some work) so we classify all that work as religion.
but you know, I want that – a yearning to want to do the work. I wanna fall in love with Jesus so hard that I can’t go a minute, a second, without thinking about him. I wanna do things – like praying more regularly and living out his commands and reading my bible, not because I get something out of it or it makes me feel good or whatever other reason, but because i wanna know God…i wanna know him intimately, know the details, know everything about him. like you know when you fall in love with someone and every little thing about them is just fascinating…like that. like…i want him to be the first thought in my head in the morning and the last when i fall asleep. i wanna chill with him in quiet and just listen to his heartbeat. i want my heart to break everytime his does. i wanna be in sync with him and his will. i want him…so bad.
i wanna fall madly, head over heels in love with my saviour. as jonathan butler said “falling in love with Jesus was the best thing i’ve ever done”
Worship Setlist – May 30th, 2010
Posted on: May 30, 2010
This post is part of a weekly worship blog carnival, so do stop by the worship community for more setlists and sermon recaps from around the world…
Evening
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Lord I lift your name on high – Rick Founds
All consuming fire – Misty Edwards
Indescribable – Chris Tomlin
Lord of lords – Brooke Frasier
Mighty to save – Ben Fielding, Reuban Morgan
Be my everything – Tim Hughes
Ron led worship tonight and i thought it went really well.
This weekend (starting Friday evening) we had a relationship course – Relationships Under Construction – with Brett Nixon-James. I wasn’t really looking forward to it honestly cos, well, I’m not in a relationship so no construction necessary thank you…but it turned out to be pretty good. Really enjoyed it.
Church
Posted on: December 15, 2009
- In: my life | thoughts
- 6 Comments
I am in participating in the one word at a time blog carnival, which is being hosted by Bridget Chumbley this week. Today’s word is Church, and as I’ve written quite a few blogs on that topic, I’ve decided to just to a repost. One of the topics we wrote on about a month back was community, and that was also a repost…it was original the post that followed this one in “my thoughts on the church and the Church” series…
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the role of the church, the way i see it…and once again, by church i mean the congragational gathering…is for community. we were made for relationships…God is relational, we were created in God’s image, therefore we are relational beings…we were not created to go through life as loners, and we are not meant to walk this Christian walk alone. Side note a bit: I’m not saying you can’t be friends and have relationships with people who aren’t Christian, but I think there’s something powerful and build-up-ness about having friends/accoutability partners who have the same basic beliefs/morals/world-view as you do.
Ok, back to our regularly scheduled blogpost: Joshua Davidson chose Peter to be the rock that His church would be built upon, but he didn’t send Peter out alone, he had 11 other guys doing it with him (yea, I remember what happened to Judas, they replaced him with Matthius remember?)…and they garnered more and more people to walk with them along the way…even Paul when he went on his many mission trips wasn’t travelling alone…he often went with Barnabas and then there was John Mark and there were times during the travels when Dr Luke would pop in for a spell…and even when he was travelling alone he would always stay with other Christians in the area.
So, as I see it the church (congregation) isn’t there to play babysitter and make sure you do your homework and eat your vegetables…we do the gathering thing for the community – to love one other, share with each other, encourage one another, rejoice with those who rejoice, and cry with those who cry.
As I said in part 1, I don’t think it’s the church’s job to come up with “witnessing/outreach” things for us to do, I think it’s up to me, when I see a need to fulfil that need and then when we meet on Sunday I share with my family what happened the past week, we either celebrate together or mourn together. We share in each other’s lives, pains, etc. We praise God together, we seek Him together and on behalf of each other, we encourage each other to live a life worthy of the calling we’ve recieved, we have the enGAGE pizza together at Gino’s, then we go out into the world and live out that calling by being a witness to those who haven’t seen the light yet. That is your ministry/calling/witnessing…being a light to those who haven’t seen it yet…and it is not necessarily going to happen in mission trips and in street evangelisms and organised outreach things, it might just happen through you living out your everyday life in a way that in “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, [you] do it all in the name of our Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the father through him”.
which leads me to thoughts on the church in Acts…that will be part 3
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Do stop by the blog carnival and read the other posts…
Guarding your heart
Posted on: November 27, 2009
- In: from others | likes
- Leave a Comment
This is something I have given a lot of thort to and I discussed it with a good friend of mine the other day (some of you know Mugabe Ratshikini, no relation!) and we agreed in principle on it. I think it is important that you really take some time on this one and see exactly what I’m saying (and I hope I will express it well) because I think this is a delicate topic, but one that is important to think about. Also to say that I will probably tackle it in the area of boy/girl relationships but actually it is totally valid to the area of friendships as well, which I will probably touch on, and so I do feel this is a message that is relevant to everyone.
There have been three significantish girls in my life who have held very strong views on the concept of ‘guarding your heart’ when it comes to boys and so I have heard/experienced quite a bit of that and that is what I am wanting to explore a bit today. There is a verse in Proverbs that I think this comes from in 4:23 which says, “Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
The general idea behind ‘guarding your heart’ is the idea of protecting yourself from getting too emotionally (and probably physically etc.) close to a person of the opposite sex, so that if things do not work out between the two of you, you will not be too emotionally scared and will have kept yourself from getting too hurt.
I think the idea is then that one day when you meet your husband (or wife) you will be able to drop the guard and really give yourself over to them. This principle is sound in terms of keeping more of yourself pure and apart just for that person you will one day marry.
In fact, let me just add right here, that although I am going to stick ‘guarding your heart’ under the microscope and pull it apart a little bit, I am not saying I totally disagree with it. There is a lot of validity in the principle of keeping as much stuff sacred and hidden for your one day future partner and it is something I would way more advocate than the general principle of young people today to do as much stuff with as many people as possible and have nothing special left to give to their future partner.
THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION
But, my hesitation on being totally sold out on the concept, comes for a few reasons:
Possibly the analogy that best explains it for me is that of a beautiful rose. To fully appreciate the beauty of a rose, you have to be prepared to risk the pain of the thorns. You can look at a beautiful rose from a distance and think it looks great… but if you really want to experience the beauty and hold the rose, and appreciate it close up, there is the chance that you are going to be pricked by a thorn.
The danger with protecting yourself from bad stuff can be that you inadevertently ‘protect’ yourself from good stuff as well. Guarding your heart means putting up some kind of wall structure, and holding people at a distance, and so while it keeps out the rubbish and protects you from being hurt, there is also the chance that it will keep out the relationship you are guarding your heart for. [this is where the concept stretches to friendship because a lot of people who close up and put up walls to protect themselves from being hurt, because they have been in the past, often exclude themselves from any friendships with people, including the potentially good ones that are likely to bring them healing and restoration.]
I am not saying that you must be absolutely open to everyone that comes along and let everyone in instantly and share your deepest stuff and make emotional bonds that way. But I think it is important that if you are guarding your heart, you have a way of slowly unguarding it for certain people as trust is built up and allowing them to get to know you a little bit better and seeing a bit more of you. Relationships are definitely a trust issue (whether boy/girl or friendship) and as trust is built up so you open yourself up a little more and the friendship/relationship grows deeper.
So I think this is my main concern when people start using the term ‘guarding my heart’ – that they may be missing out. I know of one girl who even missed out on just being friends with me cos she was guarding her heart so strongly and I just think what a pity, because I missed out as well on a potentially strong friendship with someone who I know is a quality person.
Also in terms of relationship, the assumption is that you will know when ‘the one’ arrives and that’s when you will let the guard down and allow them into your space and to build greater depth and intimacy which will lead to marriage. Well, obviously a topical subject at the moment, because I think I proved to some extent that I at least am not too good on picking up that particular ‘knowledge.’ But, my concern again, is that as someone strongly and fiercely guarding your heart, you have to be careful that you don’t put up defences too strong that they keep out the good and possibly even the potential partner you are saving yourself for.
DE-MYTH-STIFYING THE MYTH
Mugabe brought up an interesting point when we were having this conversation. He told me the verse it comes from and then added, “but that verse is not talking about that” which instantly peaked my interest and caused me to go do some investigation.
The Proverbs 4 chapter is talking about Wisdom being supreme and is actually written from the perspective of a father to a son (altho in my experience it is always girls who talk about ‘guarding their hearts’) and in the context the father is talking about wise and righteous living, and not relationships at all:
“The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” [Proverbs 4:18-27]
Once more, a reminder of the dangers/error in taking a passage out of context and creating a whole theology or life philosophy around it [* cough prayer of Jabez cough *] that doesn’t necessarily line up with the rest of Scripture…
POSSIBLY THROWING A SPOKE IN THE WORKS…
While I was chatting to Mugabe, I then brought up the example of Jesus, kinda thinking aloud as I spoke. Looking at the way He lived, I don’t think He ever guarded His heart. In fact, almost the opposite – He deliberately let people in and, in a sense, gave them the power to hurt Him. Jesus was a man who really allowed anyone to approach Him (Samaritans, children, women, prostitutes, lepers, drunkards, tax collectors…) and there is no evidence in the Bible of Him putting up defences.
In fact, if Jesus had guarded His heart, knowing what His destiny was and how the people around Him were going to respond, especially at the end, then His mission would have been a lot easier. He could have kept people at a distance and minimalised some of the pain that was to follow.
But He didn’t! And at the end the crowds He had been preaching to and feeding and demonstrating miracles to and healing, turned their backs on Him and called for His crucifixion. One of His band of twelve friends handed Him over to the enemy for a pouch of coins; one of His closest three denied even knowing Him or having anything to do with Him; the rest fled when the guards came and deserted Him; they fell asleep when He needed them to be praying for Him. All of which added the burden of rejection and emotional suffering to the spiritual and physical suffering of the cross. Jesus gave people the power to hurt Him (by not guarding His heart) – why?
Because it was the only way that He could fully love them. 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love is not self-seeking and later on adds that it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The story of the prodigal son helps illustrate that as well. There was no reason to believe the son would not turn around and turn his back on his father again… but yet the father gives the biggest, most enthusiastic welcome possible.
And maybe there is a challenge to us all in this. In girl/guy relationships I think there does need to be an extra element of care and caution I guess, because the ultimate purpose is marriage and that is the only place where you should be really giving yourself unreservedly to someone. But in terms of friendships and general relationship with people, maybe we need to consider follwing the example of Jesus and being less guarded and more loving?
AND FINALLY
In conclusion, I looked up in my concordance for other instances of the term ‘guarding your heart’ and the only other one I could find was in Philippians where it is interesting to see who takes the responsibility for the guarding: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 4:7]
So it seems to indicate that God is the One who will guard your heart and your mind with His peace through Jesus Christ.
[DISCLAIMER: let me finish off by adding this - that altho I believe there needs to maybe be some kind of balance in terms of 'guarding your heart' and not, when it comes to boy/girl relationships, let me say that IF you are rather moving to one of the extremes, I would much rather you went to the extreme of over-guarding your heart - and possibly missing out on what someone has to offer - than the extreme of just having no guard whatsoever and allowing anyone in - and possibly losing something that is special and should be saved for that special person one day]
I hope that this week’s thort has caused you to at least see a different perspective on this topic and I encourage you to give it some thort – as with all other thorts I send out, it is important that you ‘test the spirits’ and check what I’ve said with the Bible and other mature Christians you know and never ever just accept something because I’ve said it. I look forward to hearing feedback in terms of what you thort about this one…
Remember the beauty of the rose (I do, when I look at some of the most awesome friendships God has blessed me with and the depth and intimacy and vulnerability and accountability that I get in those, because those people didn’t overguard their hearts.)
by: Brett Anderson
copied from Youth4Him
Your name is holy (You are the sovereign I AM) (Brian Doerkson)
Better is one day (Matt Redman)
Facedown (Matt Redman)
I love your presence (Darren Clark/ Jessie Lane)
I am a huge fan of God moments. This morning Chris “the pastor” was supposed to speak on community…he’s doing a whole series on it…but then God took over the service and did His own thing. Chris went up during announcements and (while shaking) told the congregation how angry he was about how Christians are ok with settling. He said he was angry with himself and us about how we settle and we grow comfortable with sin in our lives…we compromise…we work on the stuff that others can see, but the internal stuff (pride, holding on to hurts, unforgiveness, etc) we just let fester and we don’t deal with it. He was so angry he decided to take a moment to cool off. Brett went to up and he was supposed to go do announcements about youth stuff but then he ended up giving a 15 minute mini-preach about how we have compromised and accepted the world’s view of relationships. Stats say that the divorce rate between Christian couples and non-Christian couples is exactly the same…yet we as Christians know that marriage is an earthly example of Christ’s relationship with the Church…so what are we saying about our relationship with Christ? Are we displaying the love of Christ?
One topic that has been discussed a lot this past week by Brett and Val is little comments that, although they are meant as jokes, they are very likely to cause “problems” in marriages. For example, people who refer to their wives as “the old ball and chain” or something similar…if my (possible future) husband called me that, it would hurt and I don’t think it would be displaying his love to me, which might lead me to become less amped about loving him. Also, what picture are you presenting to the young men around you who may be thinking about marriage? And yes it’s a joke, and it may be funny, but it may also cause hurt. Marriage is a beautiful thing (picture), but if we keep tearing at it and making fun of it, it may lose it’s significance, it’s beauty, it’s meaning…and that, inho, is one of the main causes of divorces today.
Evening service is taking on a different look as most of the students have finished for the year and have gone home…so it looks less like a service and more like a gathering – no music, no formal preach, just a “hey let’s get together and worship differently”… We had around 15 people tonight and we sat in a circle and pretty much discussed the issue of building each other up and blessing each other instead of ripping into each other and making those jokes that may seem innocent but may also break the other person down unintentionally…so basically continuing the morning’s talk but with a focus of us as a congregation rather than marriage context. We pretty much realised that course talk (Ephesians 5) can lead to hurt, e.g. if you make a joke about someone and they take it the wrong way. And also, even if the other person takes it as a joke, if someone else walks by, not knowing the context of the joke or the relationship between the joker and the jokee, will the words of your mouth speak blessings or curses to them…will they see the love of Christ in your words?
So basically lesson of the day: watch what you say. Build each other up. Verbally bless one another.
Such a super awesome day!
For more setlists and sermon recaps go to FredMcCommick.com…
Growing up fatherless
Posted on: July 29, 2009
- In: my life | NaBloPoMo | thoughts
- Leave a Comment
How is it that some guys grow up without father’s in their homes, see the pain and hurt it causes and resolve to be better people, while others grow up without a father, and become their fathers?
for instance, i met this one dude once, B-rad, he grew up without a father…and because of that saw the need/the importance of a father in his life, and i’m sure he is going to make a great father…i’ve had chats with him in the past about fatherhood…and wow. my other friend, Ryan, grew up with his father but didn’t really have a good relationship with him and he also resolved to be a better father to his kids and i’m so sure he will be…cos i know his heart…
on the other hand, you get guys who grow up without fathers…their mom and dad were never married or got divorced or whatever and they didn’t have a relationship with their fathers and then they grow up, have children, and abandon their children…how does that happen…how do you not see the destructiveness you are causing…do you really want your kids to grow up with the same pains and insecurities and feelings of worthlessness you did?
the fatherlesss generation thing has always been heavy on my heart…mostly cos my dad and I’s relationship growing up was not that great…it was actually pretty bad…but it’s all good…God is dealing with stuff in my heart and my life and all that…and my dad and i have started on some reconstruction…but, having grown up with that I would never want my kids to.
i was reading from this one book last night and there’s a section that talks about father issues (aaaarrrrggggg!!!!) and they were saying how all boys grow up wanting to hear the words “i’m proud of you, i love you” from their fathers and girls “you are lovely and precious and worthy and I will always cherish you” and when that doesn’t happen you “go into a strnted state of childhood” where you don’t grow up or you go out seeking those words from other people – guys tend to want acceptance from their mates so they fall into peer pressure, girls want to feel appreciated(?) so they jump from guy to guy trying to find that.
At some point this has to stop…at some point fathers have to recognize their role and how much hurt not fulfilling that role causes…at some point guys have to take a stand and say we will not take this anymore…at some point guys have to take up arms and be mentors/role models to younger fatherless guys in their neighbourhoods/communities, teach them the life lessons that only guys can impart…it’s possible…I hope it’s possible…another world is possible, let’s go out there and make it happen.
Here’s to Hope in Love…
Evangelism…
Posted on: July 8, 2009
- In: being Christ-like | my life | thoughts
- 4 Comments
lots of talk in my church about evangelism lately…mostly in the leadership team i guess…but apparently there have been whispers in the corridors from everyone else…
Wikipedia defines evangelism as “the practice of attempting to convert people to a religion” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evangelism)…and we all know that wikipedia is never wrong!
i’m starting to look at what this whole evangelism deal is…and how it applies to me…(Jesus said we should “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matt 28: 19 – 20)…so obviously, evangelism…or the attemp to convert people to being followers of Christ…is something I should be doing.
Here’s where I am: I believe my mission feild (or my Jerusalem – Acts 1:8) is my workplace and VisionK…or at least that is where I’ve chosen to focus my attention…to be intentional. Now if I meet someone on the train and we end up talking about God (which happens on the rare occasion) then yay, let the evangelising happen…but it’s not where my focus lies.
Saint Francis of Assissi (or something) once said “preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words” and that’s the model of evangelism i try to follow. i live Christ, and when necessary i speak Christ. i wonder if it’s enough though. are people seeing Christ in my living? or are they seeing a good version of me? am i truly living Christ? and if so, do they realise it’s Christ that I’m living?
I don’t want to be a bible-basher, telling everyone i meet that they are going to hell if they don’t believe what you believe, cos honestly that is what i think people hear when you yell at them with picket signs. that is so far from what Jesus did. Jesus loved people, and they were drawn to him, and in through the relationship they were convicted and repented. it came from the relationship, not from the pharisees telling them how not-good-enough they were.
so where do you draw the line? how do you live Christ and speak Christ without condemning people? how do you show a love that draws people and leads them into a relationship with Christ?
Too many questions, not enough answers.
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Excerpt from a blog i read:
Evangelism is easy.
Twice in the last couple of weeks, I have encountered a guy who lives here in my town. His name is Chris and, without knowing it, he has really challenged me.
I met Chris at the park. I was there with my family, he was there with his granddaughter and we sat and chatted for 20 minutes or so. People often strike up conversations with me just because I have an English accent.
When it was time to go, Chris shook my hand, said goodbye and then said the most incredible thing:
“I don’t know if you already worship somewhere but we worship at the Church of Christ and we’d love it if you’d like to join us some time.”
I was shocked. We hadn’t mentioned God at all the whole conversation and then there it was… and it was so easy.
I explained that I am a pastor and my children actually attend the school attached to his church and we said our goodbyes and left.
This guy is not on staff there, he’s not an elder or deacon, he’s what many people would call a layman.
That doesn’t stop him doing outreach though – and the way he did it was just so easy, non-confrontational and relaxed.
I saw him again yesterday. He was talking to someone at the car dealership where my car was being serviced. They talked about politics and taxes and all that normal stuff and then, just as he was leaving, he said:
“I don’t know if you already worship somewhere…”
It’s that easy to reach out, to evangelise, to invite someone to join you for worship.
…. So why don’t I do that?
http://blog.hafchurch.org/peter/index.php/2009/05/sunday-thoughts-05312009/
