Posts Tagged ‘work’
You know the saying: “live everyday like it’s your last, cos one day you’ll be right”. People like saying that, but it’s pretty impossible to live your whole life like it’s your last day on earth. To be honest, if I knew for certain that this was my last day on earth I would not be spending it sitting behind a computer on such a lonely day (or even a bad day). I’d love to say that I would spend the day with loved ones letting them know that I love and appreciate them…and maybe I would do that for like the first half of the day. The second half – depending on the weather – would either be spent doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the courage to do (ie bungee jumping, sky diving, ect) cos if something goes wrong and I die…oh well, saved me a couple of hours of waiting, or if I lose a limb – being armless for a couple of hours is kinds worth it. If it’s an overcast, gloomy day, I might spend it in front of a fireplace with a glass of wine reminiscing over the life I had. Maybe shed a tear or two. Maybe dance in the rain, cos I’m not afraid of catching a cold. Anyway…
The thing is though, I can’t live like that. I spend my days in front of a pc eight hours a day because I know tomorrow is coming. And I know tomorrow I will need food and clothing and this weekend I’m gonna want macaroons and truth coffee, and next week there’s a gig I want to see, etc. You can’t live everyday like it’s your last. But you can live everyday to the full.
Be happy. Be happy. Be happy. Yes, you work 8 hours, but hopefully you love your job and it brings you fulfilment and makes you happy. But if you don’t like your job, then find something in it you do love – the people you work with, the change you’re making in the world, etc. If you really can’t find one thing you love about it, quit. Find something else that’s not gonna eat at your soul. Find something you love doing after work so you’ll have something to look forward to at the end of the day. Don’t let a day go by wasted. Find something to laugh about every day. Just DON’T hate your life.
Be happy. I implore you.
The bible says that Christ came to give us life in abundance…not when his kingdom comes, but in the now. In the here. Live in abundance. Love everyday you are alive.
I don’t always get this whole loving your life thing right. But trust me when I say a day never goes by without me laughing. The sun never sets without me doing something I absolutely love – or at the very least eating something super unhealthy that my body is seriously craving – worry about those calories later, enjoy your meal in the moment.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m not preaching over-indulgence and selfishness. That thing you love could be helping others – doing something you love that will benefit others.
I need to do more of this. Living. And loving life.
on the whole laughing everyday thing: last week was probably the worst week of my life. everything was just kinda falling apart around me. work stuff, home stuff, friend stuff…and through it all I found things to laugh about. and i think that saved my sanity. i think i would have completely lost it if hadn’t laughed through it. i’m beyond grateful for the gift of laughter – that God gave me the ability to laugh at the smallest of things.
i’m still going through stuff right now, so your thoughts and prayers would be muchly appreciated.
Oh, and happy Valentine’s day y’all! LOVE
it is absolutely awesome getting recognised for doing a good job at something. you know when you put in the extra time and effort at work and you are rewarded with a raise or you are selected employee of the month or even just getting a special mention in the staff meeting – it gives you a feeling of achievement…like, it makes it kind of worthwhile.
but i’ve discovered an even better feeling – getting recognised for doing something you love. you know when you do something, not to impress anyone or because you want recognition or anything other the fact that you absolutely love it – that in itself is it’s own reward. like when you write a blog you are sure no one reads – a blog you really just write for yourself – it just kinda makes you happy. so when someone else does read it and says, “hey thanks for posting that” it’s like the cherry on the top.
the other day i got a shout out from my friend on twitter for my blogs. i write my blogs because i love writing. i love putting my thoughts out there into this crazy connection called the internet – not so that people can read them and think that i’m a great writer or anything like that…just cos i need to get them out of my head so that i don’t dwell on them too much – they tend to drive me crazy if i just dwell on them.
but once in a while someone will read what i wrote and connect with it or learn something from something it, and although that was not the intention of the writing – or at least not the primary intention – it feels kinda good to know i’m not alone. it feels kinda good when God uses me to speak to someone else. it feels kinda good when someone says “hey, i read something you wrote and thought it was good”.
i think it’s because when you do something for the love of doing it, that love comes through in that thing you do…and so other people respond to that love…
so big up to those people who do what they love…and for the rest, find what you love…do what you love and love what you do!
ok, end of 2010 just totally snuck up on me. and while this time of year is supposed to be all restful and merryful and great, it just feels too busy and hectic and stressful to me.
so in order to remedy that, i have decided to look back on 2010 and count my blessing.
1. friends – thanks for putting up with me. divas – thanks for not giving up on me…y’all have helped shape who i am today, and i am grateful.
2. my job/colleagues – with the recession and people losing jobs left and right and people coming and going, i must say it was a bit of a scary year. i wasn’t really sure where i would be at the end of this year, but God proved faithful and i’m still here. and my amazing colleagues have been…well, amazing, this year. having seen them walk through health problems and come out stronger on the other side, it’s been inspirational and a reminder of what a beautiful thing family is. so grateful to be working where i work, with the people i get to work with.
3. vision k – i have so much enjoyed another year of meeting with another group of amazing grade 10′s. this year’s group was so different from last years, which made things a bit weird at first, but once i got to know them i really fell in love with this group. while last years group was super outgoing with each one of them rearing to be the leader of the group, this year was full of people who were too shy to take the lead and too insecure to burst out in a broken-english-rant, but they were so cool on a one to one basis. and awesomely, i get to work with the same group next year (happiness). yep, i’m moving to the grade 11 group next year. should be amazing – building on already established relationships.
4. enGAGE – love you guys…so thankful for each and everyone of you who have been a part of my life this year. thank you for the coffees and the hang outs and the chats and the love and acceptance and so much more. thank you to every single one for being part of this community and just being there. wouldn’t have made it through this year without y’all.
5. worship team peeps – technically you fall under enGAGE, but kinda had a special thought to share for y’all. thank you for pushing me. thank you for making me sing louder even when i don’t want to. thank you for all the encouragement. thank you for helping me battle my insecurities and helping me use my passions for Christ. thank you for all the laughs. thank you for just being an awesome group of people.
6. live music – ok so Versus The Wolf…so much love for this band, check them out. And Irvine – stealing more of my heart with every show. And Gravity Wins Again – who went into hiding for most of this year but are back again. And John Ellis – LE-GEN-DA-RY! And my new-found love for afrikaans bands. and so many other cool bands/gigs i went to this year. I don’t think I went to see any international bands this year, just local ones (oh wait, there was feeder, but i didn’t go to see them. i went to a music festival they just happened to be playing at). so it has been yet another very fulfilling musical year. i love watching live music, it makes my heart happy. and i hope there will be more show watching next year.
7. blogging – i enjoy blogging. i enjoy putting my thoughts out there for random strangers to critique. i especially love when random strangers become a community and help me in discovering who i am and helping me in this life-journey. thank you readers. thanks to the commentors – for the words of encouragement and the challenging ones too. and the lurkers. oh, and lurkers, please comment in 2011. thanks you also to anyone who has ever appeared on my reads of the week list…and to those who haven’t. the blogs i read play a major role in the thoughts in my head, so thank you for helping me think through things and learn more about myself and life.
8. God – it has been a rough ride this year. lots of bumps in our relationship…seriously. but through it all you carried me. i am thankful beyond what words can explain.
wishes for 2011
1. more growth with God – let him use me more.
2. this has probably been the worst year for me healthwise. my body really took a beating. not sure why, but i hope 2011 will be different. i hope i will enjoy health more.
Were we really created to sleep away a 1/3 of our lives? If so, did God take into account that we’d be sitting in a cubicle behind a desk starring at a computer screen for another 1/3? And that the remaining 1/3 would be broken up into chunks of cooking, eating, bathroom breaks, showering, cleaning, laundry, driving, traffic, and a million other mundane tasks? Was this His idea of living an abundant life?
And if so, why did he make nature most beautiful and enjoyable either during the day when we are at work or at night when we are sleeping? Seriously, I’m usually asleep when the sun comes up so I miss the beauty of the sunrise. I’m usually at work indoors during the hottest part of the day when I should be at the beach.
So basically, I have to fit all the things I enjoy and am passionate about doing around the things I have to do…I have to make time to cram them in between the mundane stuff. Why even let me have those passions? Why even let me enjoy those things? Why make the outdoors prettier than the indoors where I spend the majority of my time?
To be honest, right now in this moment I’d rather be sitting in my beautiful garden playing my guitar. But I guess it is my work that allows me the luxury to be able to have those passions…so I guess I should get back to work now…
blogs of the week:
Songwriting part 2 (brookefraser.com – Brooke Fraser – @brookefraser)
Walmart Conviction (very Much Later – Jake Lee – @muchlater)
Link between work and worship (Worship The Rock Blog – Phil Williams – @WorshipTheRock)
One hell of a question (RelevantMagazine.com – Jason Boyett – @JasonBoyett)
Offering grace and forgiveness (Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff – @prodigaljohn)
I don’t think I want to be a Christian (My Experience As A Youth Pastor – Nick “The Geek” Croft – @puricristos)
Popcorn Collisions (Stuff Christians Like – Lisa Colon DeLay (guest blogger) – @prodigaljohn)
video of the week:
I won’t need no breakfast…funnyness! (Ramblings and Such – Bryan Allain – @bryanallain)
quotes of the week:
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on heels. We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Apple
“Imagine a church filled with misfits, rebels, troublemakers, rifrafts and round pegs…I wonder how long till the roof comes down so that we all pray and play under stars?” – Fourie Rossouw
“When others cry out in despair, we must preach hope. When others want to quit and run, we must stand and deliver. When others see a dead-end, we must point to a way forward.” – Philip Krawitz, Founder – Cape Union Mart [i knew there was a reason i love that store]
songs of the week:
This is our God – Rueben Morgan(Hillsong)
Better than life – Marty Simpson (Hillsong United)
verses of the week:
“He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God” – proverbs 14:31
“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12
I went to a super awesome conference today, Internetix, and learned oh so much about Information Systems…yes, beleive me IT can be interesting…don’t worry, I’m also in shock…hee hee…
Anyway, since I was concentrating all day, my brain has decided to shut down now and I can’t think so I’m pulling one out of the archives. I wrote this a couple of years ago when I was feeling kinda low…and for a second, believed I was creative…
I feel like I’m drowning within myself
All the memories have been shoved up on the shelf
Somewhere along the line I forgot why I’m here
And now every fiber of my soul is ruled by fear
You say you’re there, you say you care
Why is it you are never around when I need you the most
You words go through my mind, round and round
Your voice echoes like some restless ghost
I’ve tried and tried to reconcile
The thoughts in my head and the world outside
Am I the only one in this world who feels this way
Or is everyone else just afraid to have a say
You say you’re there, you say you care
Why is it you are never around when I need you the most
You words go through my mind, round and round
Your voice echoes like some restless ghost
The happy endings that I foresaw, gone
The happy dreams that I clung to, nightmares
The happy people all around me, fake
Have I rejected normality or has it rejected me.
this is intended to be part 1 of a series, then again it might be the only part…we shall see
for the purpose of this blog, when I say church i mean congregation or the people you gather with or whatever, not the universal church.
is it the church’s job to reach out or is it the individual…as in is it the hand’s job to pick up the paper on the floor, or is it the whole body’s. Granted, the brain has to send the message to…uhm…the place it sends messages to…and the legs have to bend to get you closer to the floor…but it’s the hand/arm that actually does the picking up right?
So I’m thinking it’s not the church’s job to organize a mission trip, or an outreach program, or whatever it is that you feel the church should be doing to reach out…it’s the church’s job to enable/equip you to do it…(how)…so basically the brain sends a message (matt 28:20, acts 1:8) (the brain would be Christ as he is the head of the church) and then the limbs (individuals) take heed and do the work…yes, we work together to help each other out – we need to work together as the body – but there’s a sense, I think, that each individual has a responsibility to do the stuff. We shouldn’t wait for the pastor to organise stuff for us to do.
Being raised in a church where everything went from top-down (you come up with an idea and then you have to pass it to whoever is your direct leader then they pass it on to the pastor/board who then has final approval and then a committee would be created to organize – with someone on the board being heading the committee ofcourse – and then you’d maybe be asked to volunteer as one of the grounds people making it happen) coming to vineyard was kinda frustrating at first. you’d come up with a random suggestion (like “ohh, we should give homeless people hotdogs”) and all Brett says “ok, do it”. I don’t know, I kinda expected him to sit down first with the leadership and ask for approval, go through the necessary procedures…for hotdogs mind you…then get back to us…but, no – just do it is all you get…actually, now that I think about it, we didn’t even consult anyone about the hotdog thing, we just kinda did it. Imagine if we had gone through that long line to get approval, it might have never happened. That’s sad. (And I’ve left the original topic…)
Christ calls individuals to do his work…Christ works through individuals…when we went out give hotdogs to homeless people, we weren’t going there representing vineyard, we were representing Christ…we wanted people to see the love of God, not the wealth or kindness of our church. That is our mission…to draw others to Christ, not to our churches. Having said that, I love my church, I really do…and I do invite people to come to my church…and I would invite all of y’all to come visit Stellenbosch Vineyard Christian Fellowship if you are ever in Stellenbosch and looking for a place to go on Sundays at 9:30 or 18:00.
So then, what is the purpose of the building, and the gathering and all that…stay tuned for part doux.
a friend’s facebook status read “if you could write a letter to yourself when you were 12 years old what would you say? and do you think you’d be happy with who you’ve become?”
and this is my reply
the most important thing you can do is be real…seriously…they’ll love you anyway
you are gonna grow up…it’s not as scary as you think it is
you are gonna be tempted to settle…wait for the best
you are gonna fall madly in love with Christ…start getting to know him now
you are going to work in the corporate world…honestly, it is not as bad as you think it is
you are stronger than you think
you are worth more than you think
you are more able that you think
you are smarter than you think
you can do it
trust in yourself
believe them…they are so right about the potential within you
don’t wait too long to realise your true worth…
listen to others but don’t let them determine your true worth…
learn from your past but don’t let circumstances determine your true worth…
love…love…love…don’t be afraid to give your heart away – God is big enough to mend it if it breaks
your dad loves you…and it will all work out…don’t give up on him
these are things i wish i’d heard when i was younger…maybe if i had started hearing them then…and started believing them then, i wouldn’t be questioning them now. maybe if i had known that i have the potential to be more, and had the freedom to…i don’t know what…i would have worked harder to reach that potential.
and yea, i think 12 yr old me would be proud of who i’ve become…it’s been a long winding road…made a whole lot of mistakes…and where i am is not exactly where i thought i’d be…but i love who i am and i love who i’m becoming…
finishing off with a poem i’ve mentioned before
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles
This is part 1 of 3 in my series on Lesson Learned at NamRock
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
We are on our way to NamRock and as we pass through Mulmesberry (sp?) I think “oh hey, this is where Marc and Wil and Ernst and Kevin are from…hmmm…no work today…oh shoot, I forgot to check in my work…oh crap, they are supposed to test that stuff, how are they going to get to it…oh crap…I’m gonna be so fired when I get back next week…” and from there the seed is planted. Thoughts like these crept into my head, get settled there and make a comfortable home for themselves. Seriously I dwelled on these thoughts until I started to crash… Lunchtime we stopped at Springbok…I already had a headache and my body was tense from the stress and I was freak’n hungry…seriously hungry…and everyone was taking soooo long to buy food for the next two days…and I was getting ready to scream…or kill someone…or something. Anyway, eventually we end up going to lunch and I ate and I was full and I felt better…but the worrying and stressing was still there…and the crash came.
I just told everyone that I was going to try and sleep, so I put my headphones on and shut the world out. I put the song “My God is Amazing” by Surrender Band on repeat and tried to listen to it…but nothing was going in. I was freaking out. I had let the stress and worry go on too long and now I couldn’t snap out of it. I lay there for a while…just lay there…and tried not to think – impossible task.
The thing is, I’m sure that none of the people in the car with me that day would even guess that I was stressing, not even Lindri knew I was stressing until I told her about it a couple of days later. I stress on the inside…I don’t let it show…I go on with life pretending it’s not happening. Which, I think, makes it worse cos I let it fester without an outside influence to put it into perspective.
Anyway, at some point the car starts slowing down and I think we are coming to another rest-stop, but as I lift my head I realize that we are in the middle of nowhere. I take my headphones off just in time to hear someone say “Are you slowing down, or is it slowing down on it’s own?” and Stephen answers “I’m not doing anything”. I ask what’s happening and find out we are out of petrol. Great…one more thing…just what we need! The guys say we should push the car to Karasburg, I disagree…seriously? push? to Karasburg? yea we see the town’s lights, but we don’t really know how far we are. I’d rather just walk there and walk back. Lindri’s suggestion: Let’s pray. So we do…or they do…and I just assume that God will provide a way anyway, he already knows our needs so why pray…and I immediately get convicted about the way I take God’s provision for granted. I just assume he will provide (which he does) and I don’t ask…but he tells us to ask, not because he doesn’t already know, but because he wants us to talk to him, to go to him with our needs. So inwardly I just say “Daddy, obviously you didn’t bring us to Namibia to leave us out in the middle of nowhere…and as you know, I’m a girl so I’m not going to push the car to Karasburg…so please make another way. Amen” and as I open my eyes I see lights approaching.
The lights turned out to be an ambulance, who though they were on their way to take someone to the hospital, stopped for us and gave Stephen and Lind a lift into town to buy petrol and brought them back. While they were gone I managed to get some unwinding in…I stopped trying not to stress, and instead let Him clear my head of all those negative thoughts… and that is how I managed to stop stressing (thanks also to the musical stylings of Mr Durant).
When the other two came back, we spent a few minutes outside looking up at the stars in awe at just how AWESOMELY AMAZING He is. And I thought “he *is* BIG enough to handle my work stuff when I get back”. So yea, I think that was part of the plan. He wanted to make sure I don’t go into NamRock with all that worry and all that stress…and had we not run out of petrol we would not have stopped there and just sat in amazement at his display…
He really does care!
Monday, June 15, 2009
I decided long before NamRock that I was going to take the plunge…as in get baptised…I even asked Lindri to be the baptist/baptiser/i-don’t-know-what-they-are-called, but as the days crept closer I started having doubts. The decision to get baptised was not made lightly. I researched, I asked people, I thought and pondered and prayed before I made that decision…which should have been a relatively easy decision to make I think solely because Joshua Davidson commands baptism and that should be enough for it to happen but it took me a loooong time to decide to do it, and after making the decision it took about a year for it to actually happen. For some reason it scared me…couldn’t tell you why. Throughout the camp I kept telling Lindri that I’m thinking of backing out.
Baptism is symbolic right? So to do the act without the inner-something is really just putting on a show. And I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to just go there and get baptised just to say I’m baptised, I wanted to make sure that my heart was in-line with my actions. That when I took that dip it was reflective of where my heart is.
Anyway, so the day finally dawns and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna back out. Then we go on a little hike ‘up the valley’ and do some free worship which was so awesome. And at some point I go a few feet away from everyone else and decide to just do some praying and so I tell God that I’m thinking of backing out because I don’t know where my heart is…and I’m all “if you really want this to happen today, then tell me so”…I wait…and nothing! So I walk back to join everyone. As I get there the singing stops and a couple of people come up to share testimony-type-stuff and then Pieter comes up and says “if anyone is interested in being baptised today, please speak to Jancie…” and I’m all ok, cool I’ll do it.
So I got baptised…because He said so. And I did some soul/heart searching before taking the plunge just to make sure I was really doing it for the right reasons. And no, there were no doves or audible voices, but I’m sure God was pleased. So the decision is made, and now the walk begins/continues…and this time I’ve got witnesses to keep me accountable.
Oh and just before I actually got baptised, Kev (I think) says “are you sure you really want to do this? you do know what this means right?” and i’m all “what?” and he says “i don’t know” and Val (I think) says “it means you are giving up your will for his, so if it’s his will for you to be single for life you have to do it” and we all laughed…but yea, that’s what it meant for me…giving up my plans, laying down my wants, for the beautiful plan he has…even if it means being single for life (but hopefully it’s not).
And thanks to Natalie for the talk that evening…was a blessing and a huge encouragement…
Year in review – 2008
This will be my last post for the year. It’s a super long one, but you have a few weeks to get through it…so here goes!
New year’s resolutions for 2008
1. laugh more –> check
2. learn a new language –> half check (2 languages actually, still don’t speak them, but understand them a lot better)
3. make friends in bosch –> check
4. love God, love people –> ongoing
5. strive for perfection –> ongoing
One of my goals this year, was to love God more…and through that to love people more. Obviously this is a continuous goal…I don’t think I could ever say I have truly reached it, but I can definitely say I did make an effort to do so this year. And I can say that I saw very real fruits out of it – growing closer to God and building relationships with others and him just super challenging me (sometimes through those new relationships) and showing me areas of growth and just cleansing my heart and just de-cluttering the junk in there and leading and providing and being a Father and showing just how real and caring and compassionate and loving and forgiving and awesome he is.
Above all he really reminded me that He is real and He is in control and I just need to let Him take the lead.
Whewww…load off my shoulders!
Still don’t have or think I will ever have the relationship I wish I had with my dad – too many unresolved issues. Don’t have the relationship I used to have with my mom – maybe it’s all part of growing up. My relationship with my sister continues to be super stable – so thankful for her. My relationship with my brother – since I moved out – has gone from him being a complete pain in the butt to him being a friend – and a partial pain in the butt, and so very thankful for him.
The crew remains to stay strong. We’ve had our fights, misunderstandings, share of back-stabbings, and (as Miss T says) more drama than a soapie…but we managed to work through them. Because as I’ve often pointed out, besides God and the YMCA, we have very very little in common, but there’s a whole lot of love. And they have gotten me through some tough times…and gotten me into a whole lot of trouble…but through it all we made it out together. And I hope that is a friendship that remains for a lifetime cos I really don’t want to ever lose any of them.
I have met some really really awesome people in Stell this year that I can now count among my list of friends (and I’m not talking about myspace/facebook friends, but real friends) and I am so very grateful for them. They have really been there for me through the painful growth that I underwent this year…and sometimes just having someone there to throw you a lifeline or a word of encouragement or just to say “I’m here” or just to listen as you try to figure stuff out is enough to get you through. So thank you so very much!
Work is a whole lot of ups and downs. I love the company I work for. I love the people I work with. I don’t always like, nevermind love, the work I do. I love programming for fun…not so much as an 8 – 5 thing. I get so depressed at the thought of doing this for the next 40 or so years. I really really don’t see it happening. So I’ve decided to give it one more year of my life as I get everything in order and make sure that the next few steps are really from God and I’m not just going my own way. I have no doubt that God wanted me here at Indutech, or here in Stellenbosch for this period of my life. And I know that he will make a way when that period is over.
I really had fun this year.
I guess not being around the crew all the time made our reunions that much more special. And because they had to be planned well in advance sometimes there were less of them, and therefore they became that more necessary. I really do miss those chicks sometimes.
And in Stell, living by myself has made it clear to me just how important it is to make time for people therefore I have had to make myself available for coffees and dinners and braais and movies…etc. And it has been a wonderful time of fellowshipping and getting to know people better and just having fun. Really has been great.
2008 highlight of the year
One thing that stands out above all others is Namibia. NamRock, Keetmanshoop, the church, the team…very fond memories that I shall treasure for life. And I am definitely going back again next year.
there are a host more highlights…but this one stick out the most
2008 lowlight of the year…and lessons learned
Harriet Beecher Stowe said “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone” and Sydney J. Harris said “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable” and David Grayson: “Looking back, I have this to regret…that too often when I loved, I did not say so”. So I fell for a guy – hard…painfully hard. In fact, as I told my friend, he’s the first guy I actually felt like I could put my heart on the line for…take the risk for. Except I didn’t tell him how I felt. What could have been, I’ll never know…maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, and for a while I wondered what if, I lived on what ifs…then I decided to let it go. Lesson learnt 1: you lose nothing by telling someone you love them; you may lose out by not telling them. Lesson Learned 2: “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us” (Alexander Graham Bell) so like Paul “… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4: 11 – or am in the process of learning or something. And I got to see what great friends I have through this little incident. My friends stood by me and were totally friends when i needed friends and again too grateful for words to describe. Love you all!
Plans for 2009
1. Need (not want, but need) to be at CSA 09.
2. Will be at Indutech (hopefully) for one more year
3. Stole this part from Brett, but it pretty much says what I would have said, just better…
And so 2009 will be a year of attempting to love the Lord my God with all my heart and soul and strength and mind and my neighbour as myself (Matthew 22). It will be a year of seeking to love and reach out to and befriend ‘the least of these’ (Matthew 25) and to look after the orphan and the widow (religion that God sees as pure and faultless, James 1). A year of striving to live such a good life (as an alien and stranger to this world) among the pagans that though they accuse me of doing wrong they will see my good deeds and glorify God (1 Peter 2). A year of living as an ambassador of God and His Kingdom (2 Corinthians 5) and being everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him (2 Corinthians 2) because the love of Christ compels me. A year of throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and running with perseverance the race marked out for me (Hebrews 12) and of whatever i do, whether word or deed, doing it all in the name of Jesus Christ and working at it with all my heart as working for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3). I will seek first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6) and trust Him to add everything i need and more and i will do this by not conforming any longer to the pattern of this world, but by being transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12) so that i can know God’s will. I will make disciples (Matthew 28) and teach them to obey everything He has commanded me and be a witness to him locally and abroad (Acts 1). I will continue to wrestle with Acts 2 and 3 and the church that is portrayed there and the reality of the church in the world today and where the two can and need to be closer together. And every day i will try and live a life that denies myself, takes up my cross and follows Jesus (Luke 9).
Thanks for reading and thanks for a great year and see you in the next one.