Hope In Love

When I wrote about unity in diversity yesterday, this is kinda what I was trying to get to. That differences are good. Differences have intrinsic value. We need only to honor/celebrate that value… Whatever. This piece is taken from Teju Cole’s Open City – which is a legit awesome book.

Farouq: “He knew then that difference is never accepted. You are different, okay, but that difference is never seen as containing it’s own value. Difference as Orientalist entertainment is allowed, but difference with its own intrinsic value, no. You can wait forever and no one will ever give you that value. Let me tell you something that happened to me in class. A question was asked during a discussion of political philosophy. We were supposed to choose between Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, and I was the only person who chose Malcolm X. Everyone in class was in disagreement with me, and they said, Oh, you chose him because he is a Muslim and you are a Muslim. Yes, fine, I am a Muslim, but that is not why. I chose him because I agree with him, philosophically, and I disagree with Martin Luther King. Malcolm X recognized that difference contains its own value, and that the struggle must be to advance that value. Martin Luther King is admired by everyone, he wants everyone to join together, but this idea that you should let them hit you on the other side of your face, this makes no sense to me. This is not an idea I can accept. There’s always the expectation that the victimized Other is the one that covers the distance, that has the noble ideas; I disagree with this expectation.”

Julian: “It is an expectation that works sometimes, but only if your enemy is not a psychopath. You need an enemy with a capacity for shame. I wonder sometimes how far Gandhi would have gotten if the British had been more brutal. If they had been willing to kill masses of protesters. Dignified refusal can only take you so far. Ask the Congolese.”

In the following chapter he goes on to touch on representation in media…a topic that has been big in the US, not so much in South Africa…I feel the circumstances are different on our local media, but worldwide media wise, it is very much relevant to us well.

Farouq: “The American Blacks, are they really as they are shown on MTV: the rapping, the hip-hop dance, the women? Because that’s all we see here. Is it like this?”

Julian: “Well, let me respond this way: many Americans assume that European Muslims are covered from head to toe if they are women, or that they wear a full beard if they are men, and that they are only interested in protesting perceived insults to Islam. The man on the street – the ordinary American – probably does not imagine that Muslims in Europe sit in cafes drinking beer, smoking Marlboros, and discussing political philosophy. In the same way, American Blacks are like any other Americans; they are like any other people. They hold the same kinds of jobs, they live in normal houses, they send their children to school. Many of them are poor, that is true, for reasons of history, and many of them do like hip-hop and devote their lives to it. But it’s also true that some of them are engineers, university professors, lawyers, and generals. “

Farouq: “They are victims of the same portrayals as we are.”

Julian: “But that’s how power is, the one who has the power controls the portrayal.”

THEN…THEN…he gets political…

Farouq: “If we talk of portrayal, Saddam is the least of the dictators in the Middle East. The least – the most moderate. They killed him only because he defied the Americans. But in my opinion he should be admired because he stood up for the right of his country against imperialism. How many thousands more have died under the Americans now that under Saddam? Saddam was convicted of killing only 148. The king of Morocco is worse, I can tell you this: Gaddafi in Libya, Mubarak in Egypt, you can go all the way across like that – the whole region is full of dictators, and not only dictators but terrible ones. And they remain in power because they sell the national interests of their countries to the Americans. We hate the king in Morocco, some of us really hate him. This man, when the communists were ascendant in the seventies, he appealed to Islamism, but when the Islamists started gaining political strength, he catered to capitalist and secularist factions. Thousands of people died under his rule and thousands disappeared. How is this different from Saddam? But one thing I can tell you: I support Hamas. They are doing the work of resistance. (And Al-Qaeda), it was a terrible day, the twin towers. Terrible. What they did was very bad. But I understand why they did it…

“Let me tell you a story from our tradition. A story amount King Solomon. King Solomon gave a teaching once about the snake and the bee. The snake, King Solomon said, defends itself by killing, but the bee defends itself by dying. You know how a bee dies after a sting? Like that. It dies to defend. So each creature has a method that is suitable to its strength. I don’t agree with what Al-Qaeda did, they use a method I would not use, so I cannot say the word support. But I don’t cast judgement on them.”

DEEP! All this from a work of fiction…and that’s just parts of two chapters…there’s a whole lot other shit he deals with in this book. Highly recommended.

I read J’Something post yesterday on race (Black. White. Human.), and it got me thinking about some things.

I agree with him – racism is bad. It makes me sad. It utterly breaks my heart every time I hear of another racial attack. It breaks my heart that in 2015 we are still facing the same issues, fighting the same fight…still dealing with the same problems that we’ve BEEN trying to get rid off.

I disagree with him, however, on the colorblindness and human race being the only race that matters… hear me out…

I am a human, yes. But I am a black human. My race is not the problem. Being black is not the problem. Being white is not the problem. Noticing someone’s race is not the problem. The problem is when we try to derive someone’s worth/intelligence/success based on their race. The problem comes when we think we can know a person – their entirety as a human being – based on their skin tone. The problem is when you put races on some kind of hierarchy – making some races superior to others…

In short, race is not the problem, racism is. Discrimination based on race is.

“Reformation needs to occur. Projects and systems that are focused on achieving a balancing act around our country need to do their thing.” Very true. Oh so very true. But this is not the solution to racism…the solution to inequality maybe…at the very least the solution to race-based inequality…but not to racism.

I saw someone commenting on twitter about filling the world with bi/multi-racial babies as the solution to racism. I feel like that solves nothing. I am in no way against multi-racial couples creating multi-racial babies, I am however against the erasure of races…the creation of a mono-race world…because truthfully, unless we get to the root of the problem – the heart problem – it’s not gonna solve anything… I see an attempt at a mono-race society ending in a fight between the “pure breeds” and the “mixed breeds” (I realize how problematic those labels are, better phrasing anyone?)…same problem we’ve always had… And within this new multi-racial society, you’d still have different features – like today, bi-racial people have different skin tones, they have different facial features depending on the parental pairing (Black + White vs Black + Asian vs White + Hispanic, etc)…unless you tend to the root of the problem, it will never go away…it might look a little different, but it will be the same problem…

Diversity is a good thing…a great thing even. God created diversity…it’s all around us in nature. How many different species of flowers are there? And within that, how many subspecies? And then within that there are also different colors… The diversity adds to the beauty.

We tried the whole rainbow-nation-we-are-all-one-we-are-colorblind-simunye business, and yet the problem persists. Because we didn’t address the root of apartheid…at the end of the day, racism might not be sanctioned by the government anymore, but we didn’t get rid of racism…the same people who were racist then, who believed in the superiority of one race over another, still feel the same way today.

My solution for racism: unity in diversity*. (Ok fine, it’s not my solution, I kinda jacked it off our coat of arms…just rephrased it a bit…))

Unity in diversity (also commonly rendered asunited in diversity) is a concept of “unity without uniformity and diversity without fragmentation” that shifts focus from unity based on a mere tolerance of physical, cultural, linguistic, social, religious, political, ideological and/or psychological differences towards a more complex unity based on an understanding that difference enriches human interactions. – Wikipedia

Learn about, acknowledge, respect, and appreciate our differences within races, cultures, and even down to individuals. Stop thinking you can know a person simply by their outward appearance…get to know them on an individual basis…get to know their likes, dislikes, background, culture, the environment that has made them who they are…grow an appreciation for diversity…for the great big colorful, wild, mishmash’d tapestry that makes up this human race…different, yet intertwined and interwoven – creating a whole new thing… Only then, I believe, will we see the end of racism.

I’ll just end this off by saying that I also realize that I’m not a saint. I mess up all the time. I judge people by their appearance. I’m trying to rectify this. So I join the movement with reservations, not in the erasure of races or being colorblind, but in the races working together to end racism and move forward together with true humanity.

*sidenote: found this little bit of info kinda interesting: “When the Apartheid of Republic of South Africa celebrated 20 years of independence on 31 May 1981, the theme of the celebrations was “unity in diversity” as a cynical attempt to explain away the inequalities in South African life.” So maybe I haven’t found the solution after all…

Our next stop was Serowe. Our first day in Serowe we decided to go to Khama Rhino Sanctuary – a game reserve nearby. We were given two choices – 1. Take our own car, no guide, just be back here by 5 pm; 2. A guided tour,with a guide who knows the area, and you go in a 4 x 4, but it’s only 2 hours. I picked 2 cos I figure the guide knows where all the animals are so two hours should be fine. Mom decided using our own car is so much cheaper so we should do that. Dad knows better than to argue with mom, so mom wins…anyway…the pictures below tell the rest of the story…

This Is Africa! So pretty,so lovely, so unpredictable...speaking of unpredictable...

This Is Africa! So pretty,so lovely, so unpredictable…speaking of unpredictable…

The "river" we got stuck in

What’s that? Your non-4×4 car got stuck in the “river”(aka flooding from the rain last night) and you don’t have cellphone reception… oh…

Wading the crocodile infested waters...

Wading the crocodile infested waters after failing repeatedly failing to get the car unstuck…

My brother lamenting the situation

My brother lamenting the situation

My sister lamenting the situation

My sister lamenting the situation

Me lamenting the situation

Me lamenting the situation

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 1

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 1

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 2

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 2

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past - 3

When the car we thought was gonna help just drove right past – 3

Me going "I told you so!"

I don’t wanna say “I told you so!” but…

"Well, since we're stuck here we might as well enjoy the wildlife..."

“Well, since we’re stuck here we might as well enjoy the wildlife…”

"Come here horsie..."

“Come here horsie…”

Although, I ain't gonna lie, the fact that the rhinos kept slowly inching closer had me rather worried... (But yay for seeing Rhinos)

Although, I ain’t gonna lie, the fact that the rhinos kept slowly inching closer had me rather worried… (But yay for seeing Rhinos)

I think we’re all guilty of it to a degree…I think. The reason we are having such a hard time believing the allegations against Bill Cosby is because we can’t reconcile what we’re hearing from these women with Dr Huxtable. He was such a great TV dad…he can’t be a molester. It doesn’t make sense.

I also think I do it more than the average person. I think. Putting people on pedestals, that is…

Thing is, if you’re someone I like – like just a platonic like – I tend to only see your good side. I concentrate so hard on people’s good sides that even their bad becomes good.

If you’re vain, I admire your ability to love yourself.
If you’re a serial dater, I admire your ability to let go and allow new love.
If you can’t be by yourself, I admire your people-person-ness…your ability to be with people.
If you’re selfish, I admire your ability to be able to say no.
If you can’t say no, I admire your selflessness.

A friend asked me to be honest with her about what I think are her flaws/weaknesses…24 hours later I still haven’t come up with anything. Ask me what I admire in her and I could write a whole essay, but the negatives… *tumbleweed rolls by*

This causes two problems:

1. I’m so busy concentrating on other’s positive traits that I forget to look for positives in myself. I am so busy looking at what I admire in them and lack in myself that I can’t possibly see what I could offer them…what value I add in their lives…and I believe it’s why I have such a difficult time trying to figure why anyone would want to be my friend (and why I feel the need to try to figure it out in the first place).

2. People are flawed. You put people on a pedestal, they are bound to let you down. People have weaknesses and there is no script, so at some point or another they will do something that you don’t like – something that goes against the perfect script you’ve written in your head…and when they do – instead of just accepting it as a mistake – it wrecks your whole view of them…because you expect only good from them, one mistake mars the perfection, and they become the mistake.

This is the Bill Cosby dilemma. He was a great actor. He was a brilliant Dr Huxtable. The Huxtables represented the black people you don’t often see on tv…the father who stays, the kids who aren’t joining gangs, the blacks who don’t speak Ebonics, the carefree black kids, the family that attained “black excellence”…the opposite of most black characters you see on TV who make it seem as if black skin is certainty of brokenness.

So we put him on a pedestal…not the character Dr Huxtable, mind you, but the person that depicted Dr Huxtable. And when his imperfection showed, it was all we could see.

Don’t get me wrong, molestation is a serious crime. It is horrible, and in cases where the victim has to live with it in silence knowing they would never be believed over the perpetrator, I would assume it feels even worse.

Having said that, as of writing this, Bill Cosby has not been found guilty. There has, as far as I am aware, been no proof of the molestation. But even so, everything I’ve ever known about him is now viewed in light of these accusations. In as much as I find it hard to reconcile Dr Huxtable with a man capable of such, I can’t ignore the 15 women who came forward with their pain…

Also, I haven’t been following all this closely at all…I’m just picking picking up stuff from tweets and headlines…so I really shouldn’t have an opinion…

And yet here I am looking at Bill Cosby like “You were supposed to be the perfect father figure, how could you let me down so badly?”

Meanwhile, Bill Cosby never owed me anything. And he never asked me to pedestalize him. He has always been human/flawed. I created perfection where there wasn’t perfection to be found. I did that.

I so badly wanna end off with some cheesy line like, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our (Hollywood) stars, but in ourselves, that we are (/perceive ourselves to be) underlings.” but that’s too cheesy, so I won’t…I’ll end with this instead:

Convictions stick on paper. Accusations stick in the mind. And nothing is ever seen the same. – Tats Nkonzo

Our first stop in Botswana was in Gaborone. We spent two nights in Gaborone at some house. Not the greatest of accommodation, but it was clean and all the amenities were available and everything worked. The gates and burglar bars on the windows had me thinking something might go down but I sat outside till quite late and it was uber quiet…only reason I went back in doors were mosquitoes (dang mosquitoes)…

Our one day in Gabs we spent a lot of time at the Main Mall, and then we went to the 3 Dikgosi Monument which was pretty awesome…then we just spent the rest of the day driving around looking at all the buildings and stuff…

We ended off the day with dinner at Mugg n Bean at Game City Mall. We left Gaborone the next morning.

The siblings at the information center

The siblings at the information center in Gaborone

This is the entrance to "Main Mall" which is more shopping complex than mall...maybe I just don't understand the word mall...

This is the entrance to “Main Mall” which is more shopping complex than mall…maybe I just don’t understand the word mall…

The 3 Dikgosi Monument

The 3 Dikgosi Monument

If you ever go to the 3 Dikgosi Monument, ask for a guide named Samuel...the amount of historical knowledge this dude has...ri-dic!

If you ever go to the 3 Dikgosi Monument, ask for a guide named Samuel…the amount of historical knowledge this dude has…ri-dic!

The Botswana Flag

The Botswana Flag

This was taken when we visited the airport...there is a Bona photoshoot set looking vibe outside...we thought this would be funny...now I'm not so sure...

This was taken when we visited the airport…there is a Bona photoshoot set looking vibe outside…we thought this would be funny…now I’m not so sure…

The justice buildings - I thought it was cool that you can see them from the 3 Dikgosi Monument

The justice buildings – I thought it was cool that you can see them from the 3 Dikgosi Monument

The house in Gaborone...not the best accommodation in the world, but clean and everything worked.

The house in Gaborone…not the best accommodation in the world, but clean and everything worked.

The inside of the house

The inside of the house

Christmas at Game City - the mall in Gaborone...went there for dinner

Christmas at Game City – the mall in Gaborone…went there for dinner

Pictures of the president, Ian Khama, are posted everywhere...EVERYWHERE...in Bots...

Pictures of the president, Ian Khama, are posted everywhere…EVERYWHERE…in Bots…

January 2014, my family and I went to Botswana. Our first stop was in Mafikeng…never been but had always wanted to being a child of Bophuthatswana. We only slept one night there but it was very cool to see all the Bop-style buildings…heartbreaking to once again be reminded of how neglected former homelands are…almost like the residents are being punished for having been forced to live in said homelands… *sigh* anyway, this post is not about that…

Below are the pictures from our one night in Mafikeng and our entrance at the border…I’m surprised they didn’t stop us from entering the country. :”D


Peermont Hotel, Mafikeng

Peermont Hotel, Mafikeng

Sunset in Mafikeng

Sunset in Mafikeng

The siblings - Mafikeng still

The siblings – Mafikeng still

One last pic before we leave Maftown - awesome hotel!

One last pic before we leave Maftown – awesome hotel!

The South African/Botswana border - the siblings...

The South African/Botswana border – the siblings…

The South African/Botswana Border - me and my passport

The South African/Botswana Border – me and my passport

Oh look, they have trash in Botswna...how quaint...

Oh look, they have trash in Botswna…how quaint…

I’m on a mission to visit all 9 South African provinces and also the countries surrounding/within SA.

So far I have been to 2 of the countries, and 6 of the provinces. I will be posting some pics from my travels…

First up – Namibia – June 2008, June 2009

Went to a camp – Namrock, an annual worship weekend in Namibia – in 2008 and at the end a group of us went to Keetmanshoop for a missions trip…was such a great and blessed week!

the youth group from our host church

The mission team…taken outside on of the school we visited

Students from one of the schools we visited…

This school held an assembly for us…like seriously, the choir sang and everything…it was so unreal…

This was Namibia 2009 at Namrock…this is me getting baptized…

Worship vibes at Namrock

We had worship every morning on top of the nearby mountain…daily mountain hikes at 6am, then watched the sun come up… Was too awesome…

The campsite…right next to a river on a farm…all that nature…so much of awesome!!!

This was taken on the road trip from…maybe to…Namrock…

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