Hope In Love

Humility…false vs true

Posted on: August 18, 2009

“in true humility, consider others better than yourselves” – the Bible

true humility: i think the concept of humility has been misunderstood around Christian circles. i know i’ve definitely misunderstood it. i don’t think it helped to grow up in a culture of “children should be seen but not heard” mentality…or just growing up in a home where all you got was critisism and never praise (ie you constantly had your faults pointed out, but you were never told “good job” or “i’m proud of you” when you did good). So i’m dealing with this – figuring out what true vs false humility looks like…what God meant when he said we should humble ourselves…that whole “blessed are the meak” thing…you know?

And well, this is what I’ve got so far:

humility ->

what it is not
– looking down on yourself
– telling God he did a crappy job with you
– telling God he made a mistake with/on you
– focusing solely on your weaknesses and beating yourself up (or actually, down) about them

(Joshua Davidson was humble, and yet He was well aware of his divinity and his place as God’s son)

what it is
– the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc (online dictionary)
– being able to set yourself aside for the betterment of others (wow, that sounded smart)
– being able to see both your strengths and weaknesses and accept both
– not judging others when they fail to meet your expectations

(phil 2: 3, 8; luke 6: 42; romans 12:3)

false humility, i think, comes in two forms
either you drive yourself down because you don’t think you are deserving of good stuff or you talk yourself yourself down just so that other people can compliment you and make you feel better about yourself

true himility is knowing your strengths, and using them to help others who might be weak in those areas, and knowing your weaknesses, being able to ask for help, and working to improve those weaknesses instead of running away from them


so, not looking down on yourself…hmmm…

i’m still working on accepting the good, which i wrote about at some point here…and i’ve come to the conclusion that it also includes accepting compliments…which is super hard for me to do. when people give me a compliment i want to follow it up with a “but…” (eg complimenter: “you sang well tonight”; me: “yea thanks, but there was that one note…” or “thanks…i guess it was a bit better than i did at practice…oh wow, practice sucked…let me tell you in full detail the sucktacularness of my singing at practice”) – in other words, i tend to take the focus off the compliment and focus on the negative…or if i can’t do that, i drive the focus off me and onto someone else (eg complimenter: “you sang well tonight”; me: “yea thanks, but did you hear Ronel, she led so well tonight…like she was on point for every single song…”)


i love being a member of the “worship” team. however, i hate the sound of my voice and thus end up singing very softly and it kind of becomes a “why are you even here?” type of deal…i don’t know if the other members are all thinking it, but i definitely am…and i’ve thought about quitting dozens of times, but then i know i’ve quit singing dozens or times in the past and only end up going back to it and so trying to stop the cycle. anyway, the biggest reason why i want to quit is because I feel like i’m letting people down…i feel like i’m using up this mic space that someone else could be using to actually do something.

but i love singing…and i love worshipping God through singing…but i don’t have to do it from up front…right? but on the other hand, God said if you don’t use the talents he’s given you he’ll take them away right? (parable of the talents)


last night we were talking about father wounds (issues caused by the fatherless generation) and one of the things that stood out was how those with these wounds tend to feel one or both of the following: 1. never feeling good enough, 2. running away when the going gets tough, and leaving things half finished. I’ve written about the first one before cos I knew that that’s where it came from…but the second not so much…i think that will be the follow up to this post…so stay tuned.

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