Hope In Love

Posts Tagged ‘mentorship

How is it that some guys grow up without father’s in their homes, see the pain and hurt it causes and resolve to be better people, while others grow up without a father, and become their fathers?

for instance, i met this one dude once, B-rad, he grew up without a father…and because of that saw the need/the importance of a father in his life, and i’m sure he is going to make a great father…i’ve had chats with him in the past about fatherhood…and wow. my other friend, Ryan, grew up with his father but didn’t really have a good relationship with him and he also resolved to be a better father to his kids and i’m so sure he will be…cos i know his heart…

on the other hand, you get guys who grow up without fathers…their mom and dad were never married or got divorced or whatever and they didn’t have a relationship with their fathers and then they grow up, have children, and abandon their children…how does that happen…how do you not see the destructiveness you are causing…do you really want your kids to grow up with the same pains and insecurities and feelings of worthlessness you did?

the fatherlesss generation thing has always been heavy on my heart…mostly cos my dad and I’s relationship growing up was not that great…it was actually pretty bad…but it’s all good…God is dealing with stuff in my heart and my life and all that…and my dad and i have started on some reconstruction…but, having grown up with that I would never want my kids to.

i was reading from this one book last night and there’s a section that talks about father issues (aaaarrrrggggg!!!!) and they were saying how all boys grow up wanting to hear the words “i’m proud of you, i love you” from their fathers and girls “you are lovely and precious and worthy and I will always cherish you” and when that doesn’t happen you “go into a strnted state of childhood” where you don’t grow up or you go out seeking those words from other people – guys tend to want acceptance from their mates so they fall into peer pressure, girls want to feel appreciated(?) so they jump from guy to guy trying to find that.

At some point this has to stop…at some point fathers have to recognize their role and how much hurt not fulfilling that role causes…at some point guys have to take a stand and say we will not take this anymore…at some point guys have to take up arms and be mentors/role models to younger fatherless guys in their neighbourhoods/communities, teach them the life lessons that only guys can impart…it’s possible…I hope it’s possible…another world is possible, let’s go out there and make it happen.

Here’s to Hope in Love…


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